FRIENDS FOR LIFE

Talk given at the Phoenix Spiritual Centre, Wantirna, Vic

 

On Friday I woke with the song Amigos Para Siempre (Friends for Life) in my mind. As I sat quietly listening, the line I'm alive when we are together stood out to me and I had the thought that today's message is about the integration of the self, our higher with our lower self, which is one of the steps towards enlightenment. When those parts connect we become fully alive - we come into consciousness. While friends may come and go, some lasting a lifetime, others a few weeks, one person will always be with us and that is our own self.

 

We are called INDIVIDUALS, a word meaning one person or entity, yet the word seems to have a built in contradiction. The first part begins the word INDIVISIBLE - that which cannot be divided - while the second part is the word DUAL, meaning twofold. We are comprised of both our everyday ego driven self, the part of us that we are all aware of, and a higher, spiritual self of which people are generally unaware except for the occasional nudge or struggle with the 'conscience' which is the higher self's way of gaining attention.

 

Part of our task while on this earth is to remember who we are. To re-member is about putting things together. The word member means a part, portion, limb or internal organ. To dis-member is to take some-thing apart and in re-membering we put it back together again.  We usually use the word remember when we really mean to recall or recollect. To remember is to re-call or re-collect our memories in order to connect with situations where we have left parts of our spirit behind. When traumatic issues are unresolved we leave something of our own self back in time. It remains with the incident. Our ability to re-member is not for the purpose of constantly rehashing and reliving the past or to beat ourselves up about it, but to heal ourselves of the pain caused by the incidents, to understand the lessons and lay them to rest in order to re-member ourselves - to put ourselves back together again.

 

What does 'remembering who we are' mean? Well, I could say I know who I am, I'm Jan - while my memory is not always that great I've not forgotten my name yet! I'm female, a mother, a wife, a writer… But these things aren't who I am. They are my labels and some of my roles; they are part of what I am, but they are not who I am. Remove my label, gender, status and occupation and I still exist. I am not my body either and neither are you - this is just our identifying package, in order to see and be seen in this physical world. Who we are is the energy that animates our body and lights the spark within…

 

We may say we are a child of God, but what does it mean to be God's child, a child of the Universe or of All That Is? If we really believe we are God's children, wouldn't we be kinder to ourselves and a little more proud, knowing who our Dad really is?! But how can we be proud of ourselves when we've been taught that pride is a sin and we shouldn't blow our own trumpet? Problems arise from the limitations of language, when words do double duty, like proud and pride.

 

Why are we told to take pride in our achievements and then warned that pride comes before a fall? It is not pride but over inflated pride that may cause a fall. It is ok to be proud of our achievements, to take pride in our appearance and feel proud of ourselves and who we are, but we have to be aware of balance, keeping pride in check by balancing it with humility. We also need to be aware that while others may judge us as being over-prideful, their views could well be affected by their own issues and attitudes. Some may choose to see you as a tall poppy needing to be cut down, while others will view you as a beautiful bloom standing in the fullness of your own shining glory. We have to examine our own hearts to know the truth.

 

Every success, even when we believe we've done it alone, is achieved with the cooperation of universal energy. Others may strive to achieve the same outcome, working just as hard and being as talented as others, and yet fail, therefore it seems a force outside of our self must somehow come into play. Some call that force providence; others call it serendipity or luck. Whatever it is, we need the awareness, gratitude and humility to understand that whenever we succeed, we have been blessed.

 

With humility we don't crow about our successes by measuring them against someone else's failures. Succeeding doesn't make us better people than those who fail. My starting song today is an Olympic anthem. If I win a race it doesn't make me a better person or even a better runner than those I beat. All it means is that I was faster on the day. I may celebrate, but also need to look at those who I passed on the way with compassion, knowing that, 'there but for the grace of God go I.'

 

The winner may say, 'I trained hard and worked hard so I deserve it,' but so did all those who didn't get the gold medal, and those who didn't win are still blessed in ways we can't perceive. They didn't get there on the day but there are lessons to be learned from that too, one of the main ones being to maintain dignity and self worth in the face of loss and defeat. Not winning doesn't make us losers but how we behave in the face of defeat turns us into losers or winners. I'd rather hang out with a graceful loser than an over-prideful winner, but a sore loser can be a pain and may lose twice, losing both the race and the respect of others, not because they didn't win the race but by their attitude. The saying, 'It's not what you do but the way that you do it,' applies here.

 

When we are caught up in physical world values, our ego needs to feel accepted. To lose or be rejected can devastate us if our self worth depends on other people's opinions. We may feel that without recognition, without a job, without what we value the most, we are nothing. Yet if others don't recognise us or acknowledge our worth, we are still worthwhile. We are still children of God regardless of winning or losing and regardless of our mistakes.

 

There is a difference between being humble and being humiliated. A defeat doesn't have to be humiliating as long as we learn and grow from it. It comes down to attitude. We are here by the grace of whatever created us. The word God is one label, giving a name to the force that brought our life into being. That force created us all; therefore you matter as much as every other person.

 

You are as important as the Queen of England, the President of America; you are as important as every Brownlow Medallist and Oscar winner or the surgeons at the Alfred Hospital, and they are equally as important and as unimportant as you and I! Most people's lives are spent doing the basic things we all do, eating, sleeping, having a shower, deciding what to wear… Some have wealth, but that brings its own problems, as does fame and status. We unknowns are fortunate in being able to make our mistakes in relative privacy, without the eyes of the world watching, or other lives or fortunes depending on us.

 

Regardless of the lives we live in this world of man, we are judged by different criteria in the world of spirit. We won't be judged by how many medals we won or whether we became chairman of the corporation. We will be judged by our humanity; how did we treat other people, were we kind to animals, did we make the most of our gifts, talents and opportunities? Did we achieve what we came to fulfil? We need to remember where we came from. Not Collingwood or Healesville, London or Liverpool, Amsterdam or Bucharest. We came from the spirit. That's our heritage and what we have to remember.   

 

Let's release ourselves from the past apart from acknowledging that it helped create the person we are now, and embrace the totality of the shining spirit that we are and always have been. At our centre is a beautiful spark, a flame that connects us to each other and is eternal. It connects us to Mother Earth, for the centre of the earth is made of that same fire, and it connects us to our Creator. These sparks are all from the Source. The Sun/Son (the light of the world) is the transformer that connects us to our Father/Farther (the light of spirit).  

 

We are the creations of the Creator, all children of God; therefore each as special as any other. We too are Creators. When we truly understand our worth, knowing we are no lesser or greater than anyone else, we can stop being so harsh with ourselves. As we embrace who we are, accepting and respecting ourselves, we start to reconnect with our higher self, the part that sees the bigger picture and is the voice of our conscience. We can stand taller, live more happily and radiate our light, knowing our light is just as good as everyone else's.

 

If we've lived in darkness, clouded in a mist of self loathing, and finally decide to turn on the light to see in the gloom, our light may seem dim, but a dim light in a dark place is a godsend. It's better than no light at all. Too bright a light may blind us after sitting in the dark so long. As we decide to live more positively, opening up to a different way of perceiving life, that light will grow. My 15 watt light is just as worthy as your 60 watt globe and someone else's 100 watt lamp. Let's recognise that and tell ourselves we're ok, regardless of what our parents, teachers, siblings, partners or colleagues said to us or how they made us feel in the past. That was then and this is now.

 

We can choose to let the painful wounds and memories of the past go and shine in the present moment. Right now we can decide to let our light shine without comparing it to our neighbours light, by opening our hearts and giving love. As soon as we start thinking, 'My light is better than your light!' we diminish that light. By helping others increase their light through kindness, consideration and encouragement, we increase our own, which is why 'it is better to give than to receive' for in giving we do receive. This is one of life's great paradoxes that humanity is yet to grasp. By giving of our energy with generosity of spirit, there are many rewards.

 

Going back to what I said about God as Father, have you noticed how kids vie with one another in the playground? When they run out of arguments they often  end up resorting to, 'My dad's bigger than your dad!' In their world their father is the most powerful figure they can think of, a figure of authority. Depending on their circumstances, their father may fill them with pride and confidence or fear and confusion. Fathers, whether present or absent, kind or cruel, have an immense influence on children's lives that continues throughout life. When we become more conscious and aware of a larger truth, we can finally release our earthly father from the burdens of our expectations and disappointments, knowing there is a bigger Father, a heavenly influence and authority. It's an energy that runs through us, in which we live and breathe and have our being.

 

Jesus is reported to have said, 'I am in the Father and the Father is in me'. My take on that is that God is the life force that animates these bodies, the same energy which I said before is who we are. That's an awesome thought. We are all beings with a spiritual inheritance. While we may be currently living an earthly life, we come from the light. As we recognise and truly accept that truth, we reconnect with our higher self, the part of us that connects us with the light and remembers why we came back to earth. We each came to 'light up the dark places' in our own, unique ways.

 

Most of us have to experience at least one and possibly several 'dark nights of the soul' in order to fully appreciate the light and also to develop compassion for others going through their own dark nights. If instead of compassion we develop bitterness and resort to self pity and 'Why me?' thinking, then we've lost our way. It is in opening our hearts and risking being vulnerable, in being able to say, 'Why not me?' and not wanting anyone else to suffer the pain that we've experienced that we find our way back home.

 

This brings to mind the game of Snakes and Ladders. It's a strong metaphor for life's journey. You throw your dice and may be in the lead and almost home when suddenly there's a great big snake in the way. Before you know it you're sliding back towards the start. You can either get straight back up and work towards climbing the next ladder or sit there moaning, 'It's not fair!' When we realise that sitting and whinging doesn't get us anywhere, we eventually get up and start again. That's a lesson I'm still learning, and it reminds me of more song lyrics - pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again.

 

Once you connect with your light you might struggle with life in the everyday physical world where what seems most important is money, property, business and 'things', because your priorities may have shifted. Having become aware of a bigger truth and your own self responsibility, you may wish life was ordinary again, but at another level you wouldn't want it to be, even though you may find it harder to fit into everyday life, with people who you may no longer share so much in common. Everything changes and change isn't always easy, but knowing you matter and that everyone matters is a far better place to be than feeling your existence doesn't count for anything. You are on a mission to find yourself through the life you live, aiming to be your true self.

 

Everyone is important, everyone matters, even down and outs, druggies trying to tap you for a few dollars and prisoners on death row. We may not like what they do or their priorities, we may feel uncomfortable around them or be afraid of them, but when you have turned on your light, you understand that they too have a light within. Our condemnation neither helps to brighten their light or adds to our own light. We may feel revulsion for their acts or their condition but at the same time we need to feel compassion for their plight and have respect for the light that is hidden within them too.

 

To think in these more positive ways is not always easy, but what is right isn't always easy. These are the tests we are given to show if we are living from our higher self that thinks in terms of love and light or the lower self that only thinks in terms of revenge, getting even and paying people back. When you make friends with yourself, accepting who you are, including your faults, forgiving yourself for the mistakes of your past and releasing your regrets, you will find that you also have more compassion and tolerance for others.

 

There was a debate recently over whether a convicted murderer should be allowed to attend his mother's funeral. I was saddened to read the comments from some people, along the lines of, 'Why should he? Let him rot in hell,' and other versions of the phrase, 'You made your bed, you lie in it,' a saying which is a pet dislike of mine. I wonder, where is the compassion in their hearts? I realise I might feel differently if his victims were my own loved ones, but when we are told that forgiveness is the pathway to healing and enlightenment, we are not given the freedom to decide on the degree of difficulty involved.

 

Even when we feel justified about our anger, there is still only one answer to any issue in order to be at peace with ourselves. That answer is forgiveness and unconditional acceptance. I'm not saying I'd know how to do that in extreme situations, I just know this is what is required of us from a spiritual perspective. How to get there is an individual journey. Most of us, including me, find forgiving slights and snubs of even minor proportions difficult. Hurt feelings create strong emotions, so forgiving bigger violations would be a real struggle for the majority of people, but forgiveness is still the answer, no matter how much we may not like that answer and no matter how much we would prefer  the freedom to do what seems to come most naturally to most people, which is to be vengeful in thought, word or deed.

 

Love is the answer to every question. It is how we are meant to live. We are given plenty of practice in our lives in order to help us reach that conclusion, but the truth is that most people still seem to prefer to be right over being happy. Many conflicts could be solved by deciding to just let them go, leaving yesterday behind and focussing on today. We have to do our best to direct our mind to concentrate on now when it insists on taking us back to painful memories. This requires enormous self discipline.

 

Let's choose to rest on higher ground and make those nobler choices. It is in healing ourselves that this world will heal. If we free ourselves from the energy of revenge and retaliation that psychically connects us to those who have wronged us, we can be at peace instead of being in pieces. At the beginning of the talk I explained the true meaning of the word re-member, to put back together again. In new age jargon, to bring back the parts of ourselves that have been left in painful situations is called soul retrieval.

 

As previously mentioned, every bad situation not resolved and even good situations that we can't let go because we regret their passing, keeps a part of our self connected to it, linked to the pain of loss. Every person to whom we have given a piece of our heart may keep it, but true love loves through us and doesn't require us to give parts of ourself away. One of our tasks is to retrieve the parts of ourselves stuck in unresolved events, so we can be complete. While we are advised to live in the now, there are what I call 'psychic strings' that may be binding us to the past, not just in this life but in past lives. The issues may run so deeply that even though we may not be consciously aware of them, they still affect our life and behaviour in the here and now and may lead us to unconsciously sabotage ourselves.

 

If we're not aware of the issues, how can we release them? If we are doing our best to live in present time but certain thoughts or memories keep arising, they may be coming into our consciousness to be healed. You can try writing down those thoughts to see what insights you get or just think the situation through as if you are a detached observer using a higher perspective to understand what lesson you needed to learn. If you get stuck and can't do it alone, try getting spiritual healing or some other form of therapy to help you to resolve the issues. You can put your name and the names of any other person involved on the healing lists at any Spiritualist Church or healing group. (There are also online healing lists.) As you see the lesson and do your best to release anger and negative feelings by accepting that you can't change the fact that what happened, happened, much as you wish it hadn't, you can finally integrate it into the light of experience and no longer be bound by the bonds of pain.

 

We can learn from everything. We can forgive our parents for not being what we wanted them to be, we can let go of the resentment we may have for our ex-partners or teachers, because we learned something from them even if it was painful. Let go of the need to want to see them suffer, knowing that a higher power knows just what they need without your advice and intervention and be at peace. That higher power knows just what you need, too, and that is to love yourself and to rest in the knowledge that you are loved beyond measure by the power that runs through you and gives you the gift of life. And life is a gift, even when at times it may not feel like it.

 

A gift is only useful when it is opened. If it is kept wrapped and tied up it is no use to anyone. Release yourself from the bonds of the past that keep you tied up; unwrap the beauty of the true you. You do that by opening your heart which connects you to your higher source of power and allowing the light to shine from you and also admitting the light of others in, to uplift you. What is closed can't give out or receive. 

 

Be friends for life with your self. Do for yourself only the best, as any good best friend would. Stand in your light and you will be happy to see others stand shining in theirs; then this world will be a better, brighter place. It starts with you. We light the world one candle at a time. By giving yourself permission to shine it allows others to do the same. It's a bit like when you go to a dance. No-one wants to be the first person on the dance floor but once the bravest one steps out, others follow.  

 

In the night I heard another old song in my mind called The Wedding and the reconnection of our self with our higher self is called the Sacred Marriage or Conjunctio. It is the blending of our earthly self with our spiritual self and, paraphrasing the marriage service, when God has joined them together, no man can put it asunder.  In coming home to our true self we are complete. That doesn't mean we wouldn't want an earthly partner to share our life, it just means we are a whole person looking to connect with another whole person as opposed to a fraction of a whole looking for the part that will complete us.

 

Feeling complete and allowing ourselves to stand in our true power is real success. It's not about money, houses, cars, careers but about being a fully integrated human being who understands their own and everyone else's importance in the puzzle we call life. With that in mind I'll finish with a poem called The Meaning of Success which I wrote several years ago but seems to fit in well with today's talk. (Please look at the poetry page to see this poem).

 

©Jan Hunneybell, 30 Nov 2008

 

 

WITHOUT YOU

Talk given at Lilydale Spiritualist Church, Montrose, Vic

 

Last night I went to bed early and asked to be given the subject for my talk on waking. Around midnight I became aware of the song, Without You, in my mind. Three hours later I woke and it was still there; can't live if living is without you. I asked 'Is this the subject of my talk?' and another song came to mind, Alone Again Naturally. Similar themes about being left alone but the first is about the pain of being left by his lover while the second goes further. The singer wants to kill himself after being jilted and also talks of the pain of being left alone by bereavement.

 

There are different emotional journeys to be travelled with being left as opposed to being bereaved, but there are also similarities, with grief and possibly anger and confusion to work through - and the issue of being alone. I questioned the appropriateness of me speaking on these issues, having been in one relationship all my adult life, but when I settled down to write, various instances in my life came to mind that I realised do qualify me to speak about such things. It's not about degrees and diplomas - the qualification is in having been there.

 

Loss and grief, not wanting to live without a particular person in our life, isn't just about our love life. Loss of the physical presence of anyone we love through broken friendships or other relationships, by geographical distance, through the death of a child, sibling, parent or friend, can affect us so deeply that for a while we may feel we don't want to live if we have to face living without them. It doesn't even have to be the loss of a person; the disorientation of losing a job, moving home or losing a beloved pet can trigger intense grief.

 

Loneliness isn't just about being alone. We can be alone but not lonely; conversely we can be lonely when surrounded by others. Aloneness and loneliness aren't at all the same and feelings of not wanting to live and being actively suicidal are also not at all the same; however, they do stem from one overwhelming wish. We just want the pain to end…

 

As I typed those words, another song came to mind, Unchained Melody. Remember the scene in Ghost with Demi Moore at the potter's wheel? I've hungered for your touch, a long, lonely time… It must be hard to lose someone and miss them so badly that one would contemplate joining them. For those who might contemplate this, it's vital to remember that there is no guarantee that will happen. We have no way of knowing if we will be together 'on the other side' but I believe there is a higher chance of being reunited if this life journey is completed, as hard as it may seem. While this talk is for everyone, I believe there may be someone for whom this part is specifically meant. I hope that whoever it is takes this message seriously.

 

If someone around you is going through that kind of overwhelming grief, do what you can to encourage them to get spiritual healing and help. It's not always possible to cope in times of crisis without extra help. The movie What Dreams May Come may be of interest. While I don't go along entirely with how it depicts what happens, it is food for thought. Also, I feel drawn to say that threatening suicide to keep someone from leaving, no matter how desperate one may feel, is never right. There are karmic consequences whether or not those threats are carried out. It is emotional blackmail of the most terrible kind. Again, if someone recognises this dilemma in their life or knows someone who this fits, urge them to get help and put them on the healing lists.

 

Spiritual healing works, not only for physical illnesses and not always in the way we want, but certainly in the way we need. Healing is not just for individuals - you can ask for healing for relationships and for situations. It may not bring the people back together but it will help bring the matter to some kind of completion or resolution.

 

Spirit make use of my talks in the way I am led to write them, not only to inform but as covert readings, especially with issues that may run too deeply to be easily addressed in a public message. I love that the guides can work in a way where the talk is for everyone yet can also be specific to someone. It means you can receive a message in anonymity and also shows that mediumship is more than reading someone's energy field or body language, which is how sceptics explain these things. Our guides in spirit are aware of who will attend these meetings and of the issues that affect us all. On some occasions several people have said of the same talk, 'That was just for me.' And it was! The guides work in multi-dimensional ways so that the talk can be an individual message for several people and each will pick up their own message within it.

 

We experience the same lessons in different ways and all lessons come down to love, but not always the kind of love we so often get caught up in. Universal love is very different from the human kind. We look for love outside ourselves but Love with a capital L comes from within. It doesn't rely on another human to provide it and it doesn't require someone to intercede and plead on our behalf for us to deserve it. That's what we're here to learn and we're also here to learn to love ourselves enough to experience that inner Love.

 

Attachment brings pain. When we place our happiness and our sense of survival in the hands of others we are going to get hurt. When others place their happiness in our hands and feel they can't live without us, they too are going to get hurt. We cannot be responsible for the happiness of others but we do have to be mindful of the consequences of our actions upon others. Those of us who do our best to cushion our loved ones from life's difficulties, who jump in to help at the slightest problem, don't do them or ourselves a service. We will continue to do these things, we just can't help ourselves - especially mums - and while the prime motivation is love, maybe it's also need. We need to be loved and when we don't feel loved, we feel hurt, therefore we have a lot of difficulty with that little word, 'No.' One of our neighbours used to have a notice on his wall. It said, 'What part of NO don't you understand?'

 

When we can access Universal love from within, it doesn't mean we will never feel hurt or pain, but it provides a cushion, an inner strength that helps us know that however bad this feels, we will get through it and the sun will shine again. When we hurt we often respond by closing our heart and shutting people out, but our biggest hurts do the opposite to our usual inclinations; they break our hearts open. This is necessary. If we don't open our hearts ourselves, life provides a big enough shock that we just can't keep them shut. They break, because the love that has been locked inside is the love we need to share.

 

As our hearts break they let light OUT - and light attracts light. As your light shines it will attract the light of others who have also learned to open up their hearts, whether that has been through being broken or in gentler ways. We think we have to let light in, and we do, but we also have our own light that will not be kept in when it is time for it to shine. If you won't open the door yourself, the light will burst forth somehow, even if it takes a tragedy to do so. We receive the light and we can feel the inner love that binds to no person by giving it to others. In giving we receive.

 

Look at the people who are doing the finest work for mankind. How many of them just woke up one morning and decided to do the work? Not many. For most of them a personal tragedy or witnessing some traumatic event led them to work in service to the world, and through their loss and grief and even through their anger, they found their way in life and often found their joy and passion, too. They transformed their anger and grief into action. It doesn't stop them missing their loved ones or grieving for what or who they have lost, but what it does do is give some purpose to the loss. If instead you give way to bitterness, then you have lost twice and the tragedy is compounded.

 

The way to respond to loss is to open your heart and feel. When the painful feelings of loss, abandonment, betrayal and anger are great, we often do whatever we can to avoid them. That seems sensible. We tighten everything up to resist the pain and push it away or we bury it deeply and use avoidance. None of that works. The pain grows stronger. It will emerge somehow, through anger, illness or some other way. What works is having the courage to feel the pain, sit with it, experience and acknowledge it; accepting that what is is. No amount of denial will make the situation go away and no amount of resisting will stop the fact of the loss or the pain.

 

If you can face it you can get through it. One day you may even get to a place where you can find a gift in it. That may take years and at this point you may think I'm crazy to suggest there can possibly be a gift in your pain. That thought may even make you feel angry. I'm sorry if it does, but that's my truth that I've discovered through my own losses, with the distance of time and by looking back and seeing the events that unfolded. It's made life a whole lot easier to bear and also makes it worth living even when going through a dark night of the soul. I've learned that everything has a purpose, even as we may not have the capacity to understand what that purpose could possibly be. I know there are tragedies and atrocities that I don't want to think about, let alone try and comprehend, but on an everyday level, when things are difficult I tell myself, 'One day I'll understand what this was all about', although I know that the day I finally understand may well be the day I cross over.

 

The first song says can't give any more, but the answer to the pain is in giving. That's what those people I've mentioned have done; they have found that giving of themselves is the antidote to grief. Our inclination may be to shut ourselves away but life is a paradox. The Bible says, it is better to give than to receive. That was something my mum used to quote at me but usually not in a context where I was likely to believe it, but truly, in helping others we forget ourselves and our own troubles for a while, and that's how we start to heal.

 

It is so important to guard against wanting revenge in painful situations. The feeling of wanting to hurt the person who has hurt you, which happens particularly in cases where you have been left, and also the inclination to lash out at others around you is clearly not going to bring more love into your life, yet this is what people do. They hurt the people they claim to love. How is that going to improve anything? It can only make things worse. So how can we begin to let go of the pain? Well, in giving, not just doing for others but also in handing over the issues to a higher power when our natural response may be to hold back and close in.

 

Sometimes it takes a tragedy of some magnitude for us to finally appeal to a higher power that we may not have believed in. When things get really bad even the biggest unbeliever will cry out to the universe, to God or even 'Is anybody there?' to the something they can't see but instinctively know is there. When our defences are down, we resort to these appeals and then, when we feel more together, we make excuses for them, but when we are brought to our knees and call out it is from our soul - and is more real than our everyday 'sensible self' ever can be.

 

I didn't know what grace was until I experienced it. It's not something that can adequately be described but it can be experienced; some of us just have to be brought to our knees to receive it. I don't think that's a prerequisite - it's just the way it is for most of us. Maybe some of us don't have the humility to appeal to the unseen in a sufficiently sincere, humble and unselfconscious way until we reach rock bottom, when desperation makes us cry out and try anything. My problem was that when I called out, I ended my appeal with the promise, 'I'll do anything,' which is probably why I'm standing here all these years later, so I warn you now, be very careful what you say when you appeal to the universe!

 

I must point out that in the few days after I yelled out to 'Whoever you are, if you're really there,' I felt even worse. I now know that this is what is often called a healing crisis and all you can do is hang in there, for as I found out, 'this too shall pass'. I yelled out on a Friday and by the Tuesday I felt wretched, but next morning when I woke everything was different. It was amazing. I was aware that a huge weight had literally been lifted from my shoulders, which I didn't know was even there until it was gone. 

 

Maybe I would have received the gift of grace if I hadn't said those fateful words, 'I'll do anything,' - without the repercussions. Every so often when things haven't worked out in the 'everyday world' of work and material concerns I've wondered if it's because of that promise I made. I think it put me on spirit's payroll, which is rewarding but doesn't pay standard wages! It's been difficult to work for anyone else since. When I accept how things are and the commitment I made, life runs more smoothly. When I resist, things don't always go according to plan - at least, not according to my plan!

 

For those struggling with the pain of rejection, feelings of abandonment, grief and loneliness, what can you do?  Apart from opening your heart and making yourself more available rather than less, in more words attributed to the great teacher, 'Ask and it shall be given, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened to you'. You don't have to make dramatic and extravagant appeals to the universe, they just need to be sincere. The request for help is the permission the universe has been waiting for. The gift of free will is inviolate. The higher energies, the angels, guides and helpers, cannot work on your behalf without your permission and then they will only work with you, they won't live your life for you. That's how you tell the difference; higher energies have great manners! Lower ones may barge in unannounced and unwanted. Higher energies generally like us to have a long, slow, careful apprenticeship in opening to their influence. Your life is still your responsibility.

 

Saying, 'My guide told me to do it,' does not remove your personal responsibility, choice or freedom. Even as I mention the commitment I made by saying I'd do anything, it is still my choice to honour that commitment. There are times, many times, when I make choices knowing they are not the wisest thing. For example, chocolate! It is still confusing at times for everyone whether some choices are ego based or of a higher order. We have a great capacity for self delusion and sometimes only realise that after the fact. Higher guidance rarely tells you to do something - it merely shows the way. It's up to you whether you follow that path or some other. And asking for help doesn't necessarily mean that instant relief will be found for your pain, but there will be that glimmer of light at the end of your tunnel and a feeling of hope in your heart. Receiving spiritual healing helps to make profound shifts and even a small shift in your thinking and feeling can bring great relief and a fresh perspective.

 

'Seek and you shall find' suggests that you begin a quest to find answers. In coming to places such as this we make a start. Actively doing something to try to understand a bit more about life in its spiritual aspect is a good beginning, rather than sitting home watching TV. By including some reading matter and perhaps doing meditation we show the universe that we are seeking. Asking, seeking, then knocking… the thought, 'Well ok, what's next?' indicates the willingness to receive some kind of instruction. At first this may come by finding teachers in the physical realm, going to a centre, asking for a class, looking through the library, combing bookshops, doing workshops. As time goes on it may become more of an inner thing.

 

Even when most of the learning is still in the outer world, start exploring your inner self. Think about the impulses that bring you to certain places. Sometimes we go somewhere but don't analyse what drove that decision. Maybe it is just that there was nothing on the TV so you thought you might as well come here, but often it is something more subtle. In tuning into those subtle things you take your attention from thinking about other people or situations and focussing on your pain. Instead you are bringing your attention to your higher self and your own growth. That is progress.

 

During those moments of introspection, of deciding to look outside your front door to find some answers, you are beginning the process of healing your pain and finding some meaning in the difficult times.  

 

At this point I felt my guides very strongly and handed over. The rest of the talk is from them:

 

Dear friends, we have stood back and watched Jan struggle with writing this. She has over these few hours asked once or twice that we use our words, that she stand back and let the words flow, but we felt it was appropriate for her to pull from her own experiences and understanding before we step in and make things a little easier for her. Yes, there are a few of you struggling with issues thus described, but we also have one or two of you who are questioning the whole concept of guidance so we now take the discussion in a different direction.

 

The songs we gave to Jan have multi-levels of meaning. The second song says of God, If he really does exist why does he desert me? It goes on to say that in my hour of need I truly am indeed alone again, naturally. We wish to let you know that you are never alone and it is not natural to be so. We are ever at your side even as you deny our existence. God never deserts you. How could that happen when a spark of God resides within you all? That connecting force is ever there but is covered in the dross of life. Your channels of communication get blocked up even in the pleasant life by the teaching methods and cultural behaviours of your society and beliefs inculcated into your cellular being by the misbehaviour of man in the past.

 

The fear of persecution is great, which is why it takes courage to stand up and speak on these matters and in particular to admit to the presence of other consciousnesses within your own mind, and yet everyone has that presence within. It is the machinations of man that have closed down the centres within your being that connect you with the Source and with the intermediaries of the Source that reside on different but interconnecting planes of existence.

We would suggest to those of a cynical or sceptical nature that the reception of healing energy would be a good source of practical research. Would you be able to set aside your incredulity and be able to open your mind to the possibilities you may experience? Fear may hold you in your current situation, but you have to ask yourself, are you happy? If you are not currently happy with your lot in life, would it not seem to be a good idea to try a different way, even if it seems to be alien to your current belief?  

 

Our sister here is a very down to earth person. We do our best to select down to earth people for a very good reason. We can't work properly with ungrounded, airy fairy, flighty people. Their energies are too unstable. Believe it or not, sceptics and cynics can be our best workers once they have crossed the divide from non-believer to believer, because there is no pulling the wool over their eyes. If we work with gullible people they are too easily fooled by lower entities. Their egos are too susceptible to flattery and they are also often mentally unstable. Working with such people in this public way would do our cause no good at all. We are not saying that we cannot do useful work with such people and we are not belittling those who have problems with stability. We are just pointing out that we would have difficulty working with them and would not gain the credibility and respect that is required for our work to be furthered in the world of form.

 

Those whom we address know who you are. We lay down a challenge to you. The third song speaks about hungering for the touch of the beloved for a long, lonely time. Those who keep their distance from spirit due to fear and an overly critical mind lose out on the loving touch of spirit that can transform the loneliest life to one of joy, light, love and laughter. That is the payment from spirit. When you become one of our workers you realise that monetary profits are but small profit beside the payment you receive in the love of the Divine Spirit coursing through your veins. The love that lies within is worth the sacrifice of an earthly career. This one has resisted this and it has cost her in well being whenever she has succumbed to the earthly mindset of career as the worthwhile mission in life.

 

The only worthwhile mission is to learn love, to understand what you are on earth to do and to impart this with love and compassion to your brothers and sisters who are also trying to find their way in a material world that has lost touch with truth and love and light. Nature is where your healing may be, and spirit and nature work in tandem to bring you back to your roots, which is the understanding that love conquers all and light is the way back to love. You choose - do you want the path of loneliness and earthly attainment or do you choose the path of love and the abundance of both spirit and earth? That is the question that you need to apply.

 

Not to consider giving this pathway a try is not the choice of an evolved being, but the choice of one who resides in fear. It is only fear that stops people from walking the pathway of love. It gets easier as more people step upon it, but it is hard to go on a journey that your family and friends have yet to travel. This one made that decision 12 years ago and has not turned back, even as she has made a few interesting detours. Now the work of those years comes to fruition. It has been a struggle but one that has been worthwhile and we applaud her progress. We thank her for her patience. When she was beating herself up over taking so long to get her book into the world, we knew it was not yet time. At some level, so did she, but you walk this earth pathway and are at the mercy of the judgements of others. One has to be strong to continue in the face of the opposition or indifference of others.

 

You, to whom we address this, will also have challenges, but your life will be infinitely happier than it is at the present time. So what if your family challenges your choices? So what if your friends jeer at your beliefs? This one found that within months of walking this pathway her family accepted her seeming eccentricities and her friendship group expanded to include like minded people that she could communicate with on levels she had never achieved with those in her existing social milieu. It just took the courage to step out and follow her heart. This involved being different, but it also involved her connecting to her authentic self that had been denied for so many years.

 

She will tell you that until her 40^th year she would have laughed at the thought of North American Indian guides. Little did she know that she had one standing right behind her and also one beside her; we just shook our heads, knowing that when the time was right she would finally understand, and she did. So will you. Just a little courage my friend is all it needs. We have chosen to communicate in this way because although we have someone specifically in mind, it also is a challenge to you all and there are parts (of this message) that are relevant to every one of you here today. We thank you for your attention and give you love and blessings from the Great Spirit.  

  

©Jan Hunneybell, 16 November 2008

 

 

WIMAWAY

Talk given at East Ringwood VSU in 2004 and Phoenix Spiritual Centre, Wantirna, in 2008

 

I recently woke early with the song 'Wimaway' (in the jungle, the lion sleeps tonight) roaring in my head. It was too loud to ignore so I got up, started writing and this talk is the result. The words about the lion sleeping are, I believe, about the latent power that lies within us all; the spiritual power that can do so much good when appropriately harnessed. I don't choose my talks - they choose me. There is a particular reason why I have to give this talk here today, as I 'saw' myself doing so. The guides gave this message:

 

"Spiritual power, like all power, is an energy that can be subverted, deliberately or inadvertently, and it is therefore a huge responsibility to be able to have conscious use of that power, together with the possibility of being able to manipulate that power. There are many people currently dabbling in various modalities who have found ways to manipulate spiritual power, but who are not yet spiritually mature enough for the task. They will 'initiate' anyone willing to pay the appropriate number of dollars, without regard to the nature and readiness of the individual to receive. Some of these procedures do no harm, they either work or they don't, but the initiated individuals expect 'instant magic' with no input. They then set themselves up as practitioners or initiators of their particular healing or esoteric system, when they have not gone through the appropriate initiations themselves with their spiritual guides on a spiritual level. 

 

These people have merely gone through a process. They have not taken the energy, worked with it quietly and slowly in their own, individual way and integrated it within. When they have taken the apprentices road, the long, slow and safe training of the soul through all levels of being; when they have achieved the appropriate level of humility and lack of desire for self-aggrandisement necessary; it is then possible for that person to bestow a spiritual blessing, sometimes called 'shaktipat', upon another who is ready and willing to receive. They don't bestow this gift of their own volition, but by the grace of God. It is as much a gift for the one bestowing the blessing as for the one bestowed. 

 

The lion sleeps, but when he is aroused, all the latent power within the person begins to stir. If the lion is woken too soon, too vigorously, he is stirred violently, and then the power is unstable. Many who have undergone initiations when not ready for them on all levels of being have become severely disturbed. It can lead to distress and distortion of the subtle bodies, and could, in certain circumstances, lead to mental derangement and the disturbance in, and damage of, the etheric shield. This is the subtle protective field which surrounds not just every human being, but every plant, rock, tree, animal, fish, bird; in fact, all living things.

 

The etheric shield can be damaged by many other means, such as childhood abuse, the birth process itself, bullying, substance abuse such as alcohol, various hallucinogenic drugs and other kinds of drugs. Also, accidents and even certain illnesses that heat the body and the brain can inflict damage on the subtle bodies and the protective membrane. Life itself is fraught with difficulties. 

 

There is a huge karmic responsibility in the application of certain initiatory practices to anyone. It is dangerous to play with what you don't understand. We do not for one moment want to put people off using their healing energies for helping another. With the right attitude, love, care and protection, with the invocation of appropriate spiritual helpers such as angels and healing guides, much good can be and is done. It is also perfectly acceptable for money to be used as the means for the exchange of knowledge, time, skills and power - as long as money is not the prime motivator. Oh yes, even if money is a prime consideration useful healing energy may still be imparted. However, for the purpose of this talk we are speaking more specifically of certain initiatory rites as opposed to healing. 

 

You have advertisements, 'make X amount of money using our special techniques'. People are taught initiatory practices specifically for financial gain with no thought or understanding of what they are doing, the powers they are unleashing and the long term effects of releasing this 'sleeping lion' within a particular individual and no degree or diploma from any educational system can assist one to have that thought and understanding either, regardless of the depth of respect and the immunity such a qualification seems to furnish one with in your society. 

 

This 'sleeping lion', is more correctly known as the coiled serpent of the kundalini power. This spiritual power lies latent at the base of the spine until, through spiritual practice, awareness and great love, the power rises up through the energy centres close to the physical spine. It is something that lies within each person but its safe activation is dependent upon many factors. Some people, spiritual teachers who have earned the right on a spiritual level, are able to stir the lion gently from his slumbers in certain individuals; sometimes through healing energy directly given and sometimes, with a teacher sufficiently developed, merely by spending time in their presence. 

 

Certain truly great spiritual teachers in the physical may bestow the blessing on their followers at a distance to anywhere in the world, either when it is deemed necessary or when it is given as a gift of grace for great devotion with humility - that is, service without expectation of reward. These teachers are the few. There are also teachers in spirit, under the direction of the great masters - those who sit directly below the 'throne of God' - who bestow the gift of grace from the realms of spirit once their charges have achieved the spiritual maturity required to handle the power well. 

 

Star Wars is a perfect example of what we are wishing to impart. Yoda trained and initiated Jedi Knights, one of whom was Obi Wan Kenobi. Obi Wan chose to pass his knowledge on to another. He took it upon himself to train the being who turned to the dark side, Darth Vader. In the story, Obi Wan, although a great Jedi Knight, did not have sufficient discernment to see that his student was not yet spiritually mature enough for his task. He later admitted that he was mistaken in his assessment of his own readiness to perform the initiation and in Darth's readiness to receive. Darth Vader was vulnerable to the approaches of the dark side because he was not sufficiently strengthened during his training to be able to resist. It may have been a flaw in his character that could not have been overcome, yet it may have been at the point in time when the power was vested in him, he was not mature enough spiritually to accept the responsibility such an initiation entails.

 

We recommend the Star Wars trilogy as a story with great lessons to be learned, an allegory of great power and wisdom. It is one of the better items to come out of your film industry and of course in book form, and carries some important messages. 

 

In another instance you will remember the Bible story of the woman who touched the hem of Jesus' garment and was healed. As Jesus felt the energy go from his body he asked who touched him. When the woman made herself known he told her, 'Thy faith has made you whole'. He did not deliberately bestow the healing grace ('shaktipat' or the blessing of the guru) - it was bestowed through Him, given not through His own strength of will but by the grace of God, using Jesus as the channel for the divine healing energy. Because Jesus' ego was not involved, he did not need to choose who received and who did not - it was done through him. 

 

Jesus was also able to discern those who were likely candidates for the eventual reception of spiritual power. You may not be able to determine from the Bible stories the care with which He chose His 'inner circle' of disciples. It may appear to be a random selection, but He was able to perceive their energy field and to discern the presence of a kindred spirit with whom he could have a harmonious relationship and at the same time share deeper truths. This could be likened to a teacher deciding who should sit in a developing circle. Jesus had many other followers, an 'outer circle'. Amongst these followers there were many women. The inner circle had to reflect what was deemed socially acceptable in his times yet women had access to the same teachings as 'the twelve' even though it could not be seen to be so. They sat on the periphery, so to speak, and soaked up both the knowledge and the Master's blessing.

 

Here is another aspect of the spiritual life that needs to be fully understood - to be a fully initiated 'Master' (gender irrelevant - can be male or female) one has to be a fully integrated individual. This involves the balance of masculine and feminine qualities and principles. Whilst a master may be physically male or female, they have integrated the finer points of both the masculine and the feminine polarities. They understand the importance and necessity of the best qualities of each and have made these qualities their own. In achieving this balance of energy these individuals have become the embodiment of the symbol of the Tau; the yin/yang is complete and in harmony within them. This does not detract from their physical masculinity or femininity but does mean that they can rise above the need to feel different from or divisive with the other gender. The need to compete with the 'opposite sex' or set any store by those differences in a negative way no longer exists. They see the divinity in ALL.

 

There are many who currently bandy about the word 'Master' without any true thought of what a master is. We would suggest that mastery of the Self, self-knowledge and self-healing, is a prime pre-requisite to becoming a master of anyone or anything else and that when you achieve that level you would not choose to describe or designate yourself as 'Master'. Others would possibly bestow that title upon you out of respect for your power and your gifts but it is not something you would 'entitle' yourself to. Those with self worth would not need to have such a title and would have the humility not to designate their selves as such.

 

All the way through this communication, you, Jan, have questioned if we are referring to the Reiki attunement. Reiki is amongst one of the safer initiations and can be seen to work quite well in certain individuals. However, if the individual is not sufficiently ready, even though they may be opened and to some degree cleared or unblocked to receive the Universal Energy, if their underlying problems and blockages remain unresolved these will reassert themselves over time. This is because of the thought patterns and perceptions of the individual, which may not have changed. In such cases there needs to be a clearing, some of which may be achieved through healing, but some of which needs to be a conscious and honest exploration of one's processes and attitudes. This is in order to clear away basic misperceptions which are at the core of an individual's belief system and which may have shaped or mis-shaped their character or personality. (Beliefs such as 'I am unworthy', and so on.) 

 

There are basic precepts which, if not fully understood, complied with and integrated within, can hinder us from living the truly spiritual life.  This can eventually cause various health and well-being concerns.  One of the prime precepts that need to be understood is that of FORGIVENESS.  Being unable to forgive is a huge barrier to the flow of spiritual power, for lack of forgiveness causes blockages and hardening within.

 

When you harden your heart metaphorically, you harden your heart physically. When you've 'had a gutful' metaphorically, you may experience physical discomfort in your gut. With forgiveness comes acceptance. Non-acceptance is resisting what is, it is a denial of reality and therefore a blockage to the flow of spiritual energy. In physical terms non-acceptance acts as a dam; we constrict the flow of energy by trying to resist the fact of what is or what was. We somehow think that by resisting the truth and denying that what happened really happened we can change it. We can't; but what we can do is to change our perception of it. 

 

For example, you might want to resist the fact that you may have had abusive parents, because somehow that has made you feel a lesser person. There may be a deep, underlying belief that if you had been more lovable, they would have treated you better. You may resist the facts, yet by accepting the truth of it you might then be able to see that the problem was not you. The problem was with them. Perhaps they didn't hit you because you cried, but you cried because they hit you. That was all they knew.  But then look further. What was it that was done to them? And look at the strong person you've become.

 

You are strong enough to let go, you are strong enough to forgive, release and accept. In accepting that it was how it was, and that you are a perfect child of God who survived in an imperfect world, someone strong enough to face your own perceived imperfections and love yourself anyway, big enough to forgive your parents for the lousy childhood, perceptive enough to see the gift that was hidden in the pain, you can free yourself to allow the spiritual energy to flow through you, unhindered by the blocks of the past.

 

In a way, all of life is an initiation - the rotten childhood, the broken relationships, and so on. These things are all a part of the whole experience of life. It's what we make of them and how we deal with them that will determine the success of the mission." 

 

My guides have said the following words to me several times:  be here; be now; be free. In the here and now, if we are fully present in each moment, we are free. The past cannot touch us. While our past still has the power to hurt us and affect our behaviour towards others, we are in bondage to it. We can never be free while we hold resentment towards even one other person. It's a tall order to let go of negative feelings attached to being mistreated, cheated or otherwise hurt, but if you truly want to flow with the energy, if you truly want to feel the joyfulness of life, that is what you will do - then people will feel blessed by your presence. Some people just shine. You feel good to be around them. 

 

Can someone truly shine if they are filled with resentment, anger and vengeful feelings? No! No matter how pleasant they are, how friendly, how kind, how generous, there is something tight and rigid about someone who nurses their resentment. Sometimes, if people feel their resentment starting to dissipate, they will pull their resentments out again, to re-energise, strengthen and renew them. They take perverse pleasure in their martyrdom. 'After what they did to ME!' they say - and relive the whole thing all over again. People hold on to their hurts and wounds like badges of honour, but they are not badges or medals, they are millstones. 

 

You show your true spirituality and the generosity of your spirit by being able to forgive those who hurt you.  It is such a basic precept that it is in the Lord's Prayer that most of us learned when we were small children. 'Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us'. But I have listened to people who have been in this philosophy for years and they can't let go, can't forgive - then they wonder at their ailments and may never achieve the greatness they could aspire to. We misuse and misdirect our spiritual energy with every vengeful or resentful thought and every 'poor me' diatribe. I did it for years, sometimes still do when I forget… We all do it to some degree, but for anything other than the most diabolical things, I now accept the advice to get past it.

 

It used to take me a long time to process jibes and snubs, but I have adopted that seemingly harsh but ultimately helpful phrase and tell myself, "Come on Jan, GET OVER IT!" The reward for getting over it, forgiving, letting go and moving on, is the free flow of spiritual energy, and I myself want as much of that as I can get. I don't want my lion to sleep any more!  I don't really want him to roar either - but I want to feel that power… I'd like to feel that controlled, vibrant, spiritual power coursing through my veins, not leaking from my energy centres all over the place and pouring out in 'poor me' thinking, vitriol and poisonous thoughts because of some resentment from the past. Every poisonous thought, every toxic comment, pollutes our atmosphere.

 

We have all trespassed against others, accidentally and deliberately. Those who can't forgive those who have trespassed against them are usually even harder on their own selves. Release the need to be perfect and release the need for the past to be anything other than it was. The only thing we can change about the past is our own perception of it. If the past keeps encroaching on the now, it needs to be looked at, which can be painful, but can also ultimately be healing when we put a new and more positive meaning on a difficult event. Sometimes it takes a painful event to propel us to a new direction. 

 

Human beings tend to resist change, which is pretty pointless when life is nothing but change - sometimes it may be so slow as to be imperceptible, but just as running water gradually wears away rocks, change is still happening. Eventually time carves new shapes in our lives, just as the water shapes the stones. By taking the higher view you can see where the painful events have led you to make bold decisions that, if your equilibrium hadn't been disturbed by these external forces, you may never had found the momentum or courage to make. 

 

Events such as relationship break-ups, deaths, redundancy, or lesser events like an argument with a friend, being voted off a committee, a disagreement within an organisation that has been an important part of your growth, may have forced you to take a different tack. At the time you may have felt grievously wounded, but look back and see where your path has led you since, then you might find you can release your resentment, because through that very event, you have found something better.

 

When you see the gift in what might initially seem to be a misfortune, you can shift your perspective, forgive, accept - and often, you can also be thankful. Losing a job may be devastating at the time, but may ultimately be the best thing that ever happened. Then you can be generous enough to release all the resentment you may have held towards those who hurt you. You may even eventually be able to bless them with love. Happiness is the finest revenge.

 

Happiness, freedom from the chains of the past, genuine care for your fellow human beings and an appreciation of the simple, most magnificent things in nature, all help to give you a free flow of powerful spiritual energy. The more peaceful you are with yourself, the more you have released the pain of the past, the more gratitude you have for the wonderful things in your life such as friendship, birdsong, a warm bed, a hot shower, food on your table, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a safe, beautiful country in which to live, the more that beautiful spiritual energy will manifest in your life. This will uplift you and touch all who have the good fortune to come close to you in life. 

 

Use your energy wisely, because it is powerful. You are powerful. You can affect the energy in a room by your attitude and the power of your positive or negative feelings. You are transmitting and receiving energy all the time, to and from the people sitting either side of you, to the front or behind you, to me and to everyone in the room. This is true even if you have no conscious awareness of some of those other people. All the people in this room create 'group energy'; each one of us contributes towards its harmony or disharmony.  Some people have a more powerful presence than others, yet every single one of you affects the atmosphere within this group. Right now every one of you is adding to or detracting from the full, positive force of the group's power, and as it is in this room, so it is in the family, the workplace, the town, the world. The power of one is great indeed. 

 

We all have a tremendous responsibility towards ourselves and towards everyone else. Just by a change in focus and attitude you can flick the switch from negative to positive. Your sleeping lion can roar or purr; it can be powerful beyond measure and achieve a great deal of good. Use it wisely and well and it will bring great joy to your life and to all others. 

 

©Jan Hunneybell, 2 Feb 2004

 

HEAVEN HELP MY HEART

Talk given at VSU, Ringwood East Branch

 

As usual a song sets the scene for this week's talk and the message is in the title, Heaven Help My Heart. In the song Tina Arena asks for help with love. When I realised the subject of this talk, I thought, 'Does it have to be about love again?!' I don't choose the subject of my talks but wait for inspiration from spirit. I write what flows into my mind and as I type it up I may get extra thoughts to add in.

 

Having done this for a while it's clear that my guides know what they are doing better than I do. The talks are meant for everyone who attends them and hopefully have something of interest for everyone, but there are also people for whom the talk or part of it will be particularly significant. It can be like having an anonymous reading, so if you find yourself thinking, 'This is meant for me,' it probably is - and love, or its lack, is so often the cause of all our joys and woes.

 

Recently the inspirations I receive have stressed the need for us all to recognise that we are a three fold entity of body, mind and spirit and that each of those elements needs to be given due regard. For heaven to help us as much as possible, we have to help ourselves. The old saying that heaven helps those who help themselves is often taken out of context and used as a reason for selfishness or to take something that isn't ours, but its true meaning is that we must be willing to do some of the work ourselves.

 

Heaven can't help us to have perfect health if we persist in eating junk food and not exercising. If we remedy our diet and get moving then by our best intentions and doing what needs to be done we attract spiritual help. We can't expect heaven to help us to stay safe and out of trouble on the road if we speed and drive recklessly; to receive heaven's help we have to help ourselves by doing the right thing. This is one of the Spiritualist principles - personal responsibility; and in helping ourselves we also walk that path of eternal progress which another principle states is available to anyone who wishes to tread it.

 

As we take responsibility for our wellbeing we automatically progress by acting with integrity in our own highest interests. Our highest interest is not selfish; if you've been pushed into a particular career but your soul cries out to be or do something else, your higher self may know that you have the potential to do something exceptional in the world by following your passion. Less dramatically but equally as important, it knows you may find personal fulfilment by doing it.

 

At times our highest interest may require sacrifice. From a spiritual perspective, particularly in choices that involve moral dilemmas, our highest interest may not be served by doing what we want to do but by doing what we know to be right - and they are not always the same thing. Our own highest interest will always also be the highest interest of all; the choice for the greater good.

 

Life gives us all challenges and choices. They vary according to the individual lessons we need to learn. That's why we're here and why we have a conscience to help override the desires of our ego self and guide us to our wisest choices, which are those of our higher self. That may not make our dilemmas any easier or less painful - free will comes at a cost - but when we do have to make difficult choices, (even while we are told that there is no right or wrong, just wise choices and less wise choices from which we will still learn our lessons) it is worth bearing in mind that in the long term, a clear conscience is a precious asset.

 

By being our own best person the positive vibes we then put into the world cannot help but attract those of a similar vibration on earth and in spirit as it is a law of physics that like attracts like. You may say, 'What about opposites attracting?' That is also true because life is a paradox; we have to live with and do our best to reconcile its contradictions.

 

The phenomena of opposites attracting doesn't make conflict inevitable. We are attracted to what we lack or need to learn in ourselves, so someone who lacks confidence may be attracted to friends or partners with an over abundance of confidence. The cosmic purpose behind that attraction is to bring balance to both parties. One partner may be over cautious with money whilst the other may be too lavish - again, the ideal outcome of such an attraction is for one partner to learn to be more relaxed over finances and the other to become more responsible. At the same time we hopefully learn further lessons of tolerance of and respect for our differences and to become more flexible in our own approach.

 

Sadly, what often happens before we reach that happy balance of harmony is conflict, resentment, unhappiness and estrangement. This is mostly because people like to be right. In order to be right they have to make the other person wrong - but the lesson isn't about winning, losing or whose will is strongest and who will back down first. It's about finding balance and creating relationships where there are no losers - then we can all feel good about ourselves.

 

Both 'like attracting like' and 'opposites attracting' can and do exist within the same relationship. Our similarities and our differences attract us to each other, mostly on an unconscious level, in order to provide material for our life lessons. My husband and I come from families with similar backgrounds and no cultural differences, which is 'like attracting like', but his family had an optimistic outlook whereas mine tended towards negativity. In that regard opposites attracted. I was fortunate to have an opportunity to connect with different role models with a better way of seeing life. Being with people who saw sunshine where we saw rain was a chance for my own attitudes to become more balanced.

 

When we decide to come to places like this, we find a diverse crowd of all ages and from many cultures, but we know that most of those attending will be interested in spirituality and believe in the possibility of spirit communication so we have a common connection despite our differences. To visit Spiritualist Churches and similar places generally guarantees that we will meet people who think a little wider than most. We have the possibility of discussing unusual experiences and ways of thinking that we can't so easily speak about in the outside world.

 

In finding an outlet to express and further develop our interests, we help our heart. Helping ourselves in the love department is not only about romantic love but about our general wellbeing - and our emotional and spiritual wellbeing is helped when we can express ourselves honestly and openly.

 

When we speak sincerely and truthfully we say it is 'from the heart' and when we can't be our true selves, our heart suffers. What begins on emotional and spiritual levels may eventually affect us physically. 'Feelings' arise from mental and emotional responses but are felt in our body. When we say our 'feelings' are hurt where are those feelings located? They can be anywhere in the body, yet so very often the sharpest psychic pain is felt in our heart. To prevent those feelings manifesting as illness we need peace in our hearts. We find that by being ok with who we are and being as true to ourselves and our pathway as possible. That can be a struggle but is well worthwhile.

 

When I was first attracted to the spiritual pathway I found it hard to walk it openly. I read avidly about spirituality, healing and mediumship but it took more courage to attend meetings and develop my own gifts, because my friends and family did not have the slightest interest in such things. Like most people, I prefer company when I go somewhere new but it became clear to me that my investigations into spirituality would have to be done alone. I seemed to have very strong, invisible cords tugging me towards this pathway, so in the title of the book, I felt the fear and did it anyway.

 

Taking that step was one of the best things I ever did, leading to a new way of life - even as I lived in the same house with the same partner and the same people around me. They're still there and they're still not interested 12 years later! If I had waited for company I'd have waited a long time. I'd still be waiting! I had to take responsibility for my spiritual needs and step into the unknown alone. In doing so I found more friends and like minded acquaintances than I could have dreamed of and to use another heart phrase, that's heart warming.

 

Have you noticed that the word HEARTH is heart with an H added? H begins both Home and Heaven; it's all in the heart. The hearth is the centre of the home where we come for warmth and our own heart is our inner hearth. Take the H off the front of the word hearth and you get EARTH, the planet that is our home for the duration of this incarnation. It's where we have to strive to do our best within the constraints of the physical life before our eventual return home to the spirit world. I believe that as far as we can, we are meant to try to create heaven on earth while we are here, through being the best people possible, using our heart and our life energy, which is love, in a far wider way than we mostly focus on.

 

We so often get caught up in 'selfish love' or in wanting someone to call our own that we forget about wider love. You might say, 'Well, Jan, it's alright for you, you've got someone.' I know how fortunate I am but I also know that if I didn't have that, it would be even more important to access those other kinds of love - such as love for my fellow human beings and love of my pathway in life - to sustain me.

 

It's good to have a passion, something to get up for each morning, even if there isn't a 'someone' to get up for and to have a good, healthy love, by which I mean regard and respect, for our own selves. If you don't have someone outside of yourself to love at present, how much more important it is to have or to develop self love! And as is the nature of life, in that state of self acceptance you are more likely to attract someone of quality who resonates to a similar energy as yourself.

 

If you are currently single, don't keep asking, 'What's wrong with me?' There is nothing wrong with you; you're just focussing on external love - remember, there are many abusive and exploitative relationships out there and even more that are empty and unrewarding. That can be far more lonely, isolating and restrictive than being alone. The song says, I know it's out there somewhere but it's an as above, so below kind of thing; if you can't currently find what you need 'out there' why not start by looking 'in here', in the heart of you?

 

Give yourself the kind of love you would like to receive and that you would give to a partner - and for those of us who have someone, let's remember that all relationships, including that with your own self, require ongoing attention to stop them falling into disrepair and withering through neglect. Bear in mind that just because someone is still there in body doesn't necessarily mean they are with you in mind and spirit. A relationship needs at least a little of all three…

 

As we focus on our heart's needs on all levels and of being the best person possible, we attract positive energy and spirit help towards us. You may not consciously work with guides and angels but any passion you have will attract those with similar passions from the spirit realms. When a book you need seems to appear from nowhere and other help falls into your lap, you can be sure that spirit help or if you prefer, universal energy, is instrumental in providing that help. Synchronicity is a way in which 'heaven helps those who help themselves.' So called coincidences and 'me too' moments are often divinely inspired.

 

We need to follow the clues and listen inwardly - and that's another word enshrined in the word 'heart' - well, two words actually, EAR and HEAR. How often are we told to listen to or with our heart when we are trying to decide which way to go in life? We are creators and we create our life and reality with every choice we make. As creators we are the artists of our own life and again within the word 'heart' you will find ART. What picture are you painting with your life? Is it a restful landscape, a beautiful portrait or a chaotic abstract? Mine's a colourful blend of them all…

 

As you follow your heart and do what you love, even if only in spare moments, you become more in tune with yourself, the world you live in and the world of spirit. Expressing yourself honestly and authentically from your highest intentions and aspirations attracts high quality energy from the universe - and high quality protection. You not only attract protection but create it from your own positive attitude, which is like a force field, keeping negativity out and allowing a free flow of positive energy exchange, also called love, to occur. This creates miracles for we connect not just with other humans and the spirit help of guides, angels and of course our loved ones, but also with nature spirits.

 

Some people may find this a little hard to take, but nature spirits aren't just figments in a world of airy, fairy imagination. Through being positive, accepting and loving, we learn the art of appreciation and gratitude. It is these qualities that seem to help create a connection with nature. The energy that runs through every living thing, which is love, recognises gratitude, appreciation, reverence and awe. I will share the following story, a similar, slightly less dramatic experience than (named person there) had.

 

A couple of years back I went for a walk and as I strolled along I noticed a handsome liquidambar tree. In a spontaneous moment of appreciation I sent it a thought, 'Oh you are so lovely - you're beautiful now with your glossy green leaves and you're beautiful in the autumn with all your gorgeous colours,' and as I passed by, a bolt of energy came from that tree and entered the back of my neck. It filled me with incredible energy as if the tree was saying 'Thank you'. For about a week I had a heightened sense of wellbeing and awareness of the invisible life in nature all around me. It was wonderful.

 

It may never happen again because now I know such things can happen, a part of me wants and hopes for a repeat experience, but it may be that such gifts only come through our innocence and lack of expectation. While it is mostly beyond our awareness, I now know and have had proof that there is consciousness in nature. Where there is consciousness there is the possibility of communication - we just don't always know how, but seems to be through love. Be open to the seemingly impossible, so you will appreciate it when it happens and know it to be true. It didn't happen to me because I'm any more special than anyone else. It could just as easily happen to you. My experience was beyond imagination and when I think of it I still feel a twinge of excitement. Where? In my heart…

 

Our heart chakra or energy centre is in the centre of our chest. All treasure, as we know, is found in a treasure-chest and we all have one - it's located in our trunk! When you follow your heart, there you will find your greatest treasure. Don't save your love up for the day you can give it to someone special - give it out every day to everyone and everything.

 

(I took the congregation through a short, guided visualisation.) Just close your eyes for a few moments. Take a relaxing breath… now take your attention to the centre of your chest. The physical heart is to the left, but your spiritual heart is at the centre. Sense the presence of a beautiful clear quartz crystal at that centre and at the heart of this gorgeous crystal, an intense point of golden light. This light is pulsating like a heart beat.

 

As you see or sense it pulsating, allow that light, which is love energy, to burst from that crystal like a beautiful firework. Let it shine from the centre of your heart and then let that lovely, liquid light flow and fill every cell of your body. Breathe it in. As this wonderful, warm light of pure love completely fills every space in your body, let it radiate outwards and move beyond the confines of your body. See or feel it spreading further and further from your body until your light fills this room. There is enough love in the jewel at the centre of your heart to fill you, to fill this room and to light up the Universe. Feel it filling your body with vibrant life and notice how the more you send it out the more you feel it within. That's why it is better to give than to receive. In giving you receive more than you could ever imagine possible.

 

Now allow that light to gradually come back towards you; pull it in and wrap it around you. Keep your heart open and receptive as you take a deep breath and bring your consciousness back to this room. As you become fully present once more and open your eyes, know that you have given your boundless, endless, eternal love energy out and you have also received it from everyone here and from yourself.

 

I hope most of you got something from that exercise. If you didn't, it doesn't mean you are lacking in any way - you simply need to practice. You have just transmitted and received love energy.

 

Love is a bottomless pot, the magic porridge pot in children's stories that never runs out and whose owners never go hungry. When you feel you have no more to give it's because you need to replenish your self. It may be as easy as doing the short but powerful exercise we just did and asking - we were told, 'ask and it shall be given.' The song asks, 'Heaven help my heart'. We will and we do receive, but to truly receive we have to be willing to give.

 

When we feel unloved we can become unloving and even get mean. We may think, 'I won't love you unless you love me.' Then we are at stalemate. In situations of conflict someone has to be the bigger person and be the first to be generous. If you feel your generosity isn't appreciated, please understand that we don't always get love back from where we give it - but it is never wasted. We may get it back in unexpected ways from unexpected sources, so don't believe your efforts are in vain.

 

The person you give your energy to may not realise the extent of the gift you have given them but the Universe knows. However, at times we need to think carefully about where we focus our energy and maybe take it where it is better spent. Also, when we give of our time, energy and/or things, are we giving the other person what they need or what we think they need? Are you giving what you want to give and then expecting others to be grateful? If they don't want what you are offering it will not be appreciated, especially if you're too forceful. Imposing your will on others and making them take what they don't want is not generosity, it is bullying. The most likely outcome is that you will be resented.

 

My mum used to say, 'It's better to give than to receive,' - she was usually just trying to get me to do the washing up! She quoted all the wise sayings, often for guilt inducement - it wasn't a good strategy, I just got more resentful but I did do the dishes; well, sometimes - not, I confess, with good grace! Now I understand the true meaning of that saying, for when we do 'good' we do 'god', which is love, and if we do our share in the true spirit of giving we give out Lots Of Vibrant Energy (LOVE for short!) and energy recreates itself so we get it back. It's the gift that keeps on giving.

 

We only have a loveless life if we don't give of our own love - a partnerless life is not a loveless life unless we choose it to be. Heaven helps our heart when we decide to give of ourselves in ways that bring us most joy and that use our unique gifts, talents and passions in the most positive and useful way. We can put that love into painting, baking a cake, tending a garden or helping a good cause; being a good neighbour, sending healing thoughts - anything.

 

It doesn't matter how we use it as long as we do use it. If we don't have a certain someone to lavish it on we can still use it. Unlike keeping money in the bank we don't earn interest on unspent love - the dividends grow in relation to how much we spend. Unspent energy becomes destructive. We are transmitters and receivers, we are that pulsating crystal - and the energy is meant to be used.

 

I wrote the above on Thursday morning and thought that was it but on Friday I lay half awake and heard a line of a song asking 'Where is the love?' which I noticed and ignored, but then I heard the plaintive song from Oliver, Where Is Love? and got the feeling that spirit want to reiterate how bleak life can be if we always look and wait for our love, and in a wider sense our joy of life, to come from somewhere out there. Love is available to everyone now; it is in here, in our treasure chest. We can access the warmth of love from within.

 

Even as most people yearn for someone to call their own and others aren't happy with the partner they have and yearn for some connection and romance in their lives, there is so much more to love than the illusory two halves making a whole; we are meant to be whole within ourselves. The connection with the beloved is when we make our inner connection to the Source; the yearning is for divine love which is why earthly love can so very often be disappointing, for after attraction may come disillusion. The choices are to work with what you have or move on.

 

Another song says love the one you're with which, with some effort and goodwill could lead to a deeply rewarding relationship. Some people settle for a life of disappointment or engage in a constant chase to find what's missing. An alternative is to use your energy in ways that fill you from the inside. The quest for the grail is to find the treasure within.

 

Where is the love? Inside - it's a choice you make. You can choose to be bitter that love or life passed you by or your choices didn't end up being what you had hoped for or you can decide to be the love you need, give it to yourself and shine it into the world so we can all benefit from your light. You then become what a Great Teacher called, 'the light of the world' - for when you decide to open that trunk that's been sitting gathering dust, prepare to be dazzled.

 

The light shines out when you realise that you are and you have the love you seek within. Heaven helps your heart when you allow it to open wide and you embrace life and live with joy. It's almost too simple but as you give out you will receive. The trick is to give without expectation of return.

 

You can be happy even as you may still wait and hope for the day your prince or princess will come. We often think, 'I'll be happy when…' but we can decide, 'I'll be happy now…' That's how we help our heart and it is also how we will eventually heal our world.

 

©Jan Hunneybell, 13 April, 2008

 

MacArthur Park

Talk given at Victorian Spiritualist's Union, Melbourne

 

Since Tuesday I've had the song MacArthur Park popping into my mind. It has some strange lyrics about a cake being left outside; it's raining and the cake is spoiled. The lines that stand out, sang in suitable anguish, are I don't think that I can take it, 'cause it took so long to bake it and I'll never have that recipe again, oh, no!  In the early hours of Thursday I woke and as I lay there this song resounded in my mind once more and I knew it was my lead in to today's talk...

 

Getting songs as messages is a bit like how it is for Oda Mae in the movie Ghost who keeps hearing I'm Henry the Eighth I am until she finally takes notice - but maybe not quite as persistent! It's common to receive messages this way but most people dismiss the songs that they hear in their mind, not realising that songs and music are used as a communication device by Spirit. Don't ask me how they do it, I don't know, but if granny's favourite song is in your mind she may be telling you she's watching out for you. If you turn on the radio and a song reminding you of your late friend keeps coming on, it may not be the radio stations limited play-list to blame but your loved one wanting you to know they're around. It may even be a message from your guides so if a song sticks in your head, take notice and listen to the words.

 

I lay and thought about MacArthur Park for a while, wondering what it meant in the context of this talk. Finally I asked in my mind to whoever was inspiring me, 'So what is the subject of Sunday's talk?' Quick as a flash I heard and saw in capital letters REGRET. Of course - that's what those anguished lyrics are about! Who amongst us has not had regrets? The previous day I let a friend down through lack of communication. She left a message saying 'Where are you?' I rang to apologise and when our call ended this song came clearly to mind. I didn't make the connection between the song and the incident at that stage, but did regret the mix up. While it wasn't a big deal in world terms I wished it hadn't happened.

 

This friend has very high standards for herself. I know that if the situation was reversed she would be distraught and have terrible trouble forgiving herself. In the past I would have been much the same. This is the negative state of regret, where you can't let go and endlessly berate yourself. These days I forgive myself more easily. I felt remorseful for a while but having apologised I soon let go. It is healthy regret to feel appropriately uncomfortable, to do what we can to make things right and then let to go, but as she said, it's often far easier to forgive other people than to forgive ourselves.

 

Making mistakes and then feeling devastated by them is the biggest problem with the emotion that we call regret. If you think of the word, re-gret is a contraction of re-greet; it is to keep opening the doors of our mind, heart and soul to what is past and cannot be changed - over and over again. No matter how often we re-live those many incidents in our lives that we would prefer to give a different ending, we can never change the outcome. What's done is done, so unless the act of going back over some event in our lives can be used constructively, it's best not to do it if we can possibly stop ourselves.

 

Something that many people do if they happen to be laying awake at 3 in the morning is to mull over past incidents and conversations and think, 'Oh, no! Why did I say that? What will they think of me? I didn't mean it like that…' When I do it I call it beating myself up and only as I've been writing this talk do I realise that this self flagellation comes under the umbrella of 'regret'. Thankfully I don't do it quite so much any more.

 

This process of regret starts as a review of some experience we've had that comes to mind. To re-view is a useful process because we learn through experience. It is appropriate to go over our day in our mind to see what we learned, what we could have done differently, what gave us satisfaction and what we've achieved. In fact it's a good spiritual practice to do that at the end of each day before sleeping, to mentally run through our day and to put the events and issues to bed as we put ourselves to bed. The inner conversation of, 'I could have done that better - I won't do that again but look what I achieved,' is fine. It's the inner equivalent of taking off our day clothes, brushing our teeth and so on, a preparation for our night's rest by removing the incidents of the day from our mind to allow for restful sleep.

 

Other than in exceptional circumstances we wouldn't go to bed fully dressed and unwashed from the day. Just as we divest ourselves of our shoes and clothes, reviewing our achievements, mistakes and defeats is in a similar way a taking off of the mental and emotional garments we have put on during the course of the day and a washing off of any mental and emotional debris that may be detrimental to our spirit. Some memories need placing in the garbage bin - in other words they need to be discarded; others need to be put in drawers - that is, kept in our memory bank but not out on display; whilst yet others need to be placed on the bedside cabinet ready to pick up in the morning along with our watch, keys and in my case, the specs.

 

In reviewing our day the idea is to set all thoughts aside ready for the night's sleep and in that regard reviewing is a good thing. To regret something is also reasonable and right as a short lived emotion if it reinforces a lesson. In my example I might think, 'I don't like letting friends down, it upsets us all and affects my credibility. I pride myself on being reliable so in future I'll call immediately or make a note to call later so I don't get distracted and forget.' I've gone over the situation, taken responsibility for it, put a plan in place to minimise making the same mistake in future then let go; doing this can prevent those 3 am sessions that are so draining and unproductive.

 

The thing about regret and its companion, guilt, is what it does to us, how it makes us feel - if we hold on to it, it becomes destructive to our spirit and soul and ultimately to our body, especially if we overdo the self bashing. Think of the bodily reactions that accompany those thoughts of 'If only I…,' and 'I wish I…,'  There's the racing heart, the clenched stomach, the butterflies - all sorts of reactions as well as the thoughts going round and round in our minds - it's truly a whole body experience and not a very good one.

 

It seems to me that the difference between regret and resentment is that regret is mostly about ourselves; what we wish we had or hadn't done. It's our personal transgressions, errors and choices. People with high standards tend towards regret because they mull over things and think, 'Why did I do that?', 'Why didn't I see that coming?' People with high fear factors ask themselves similar things, for regret is often about the possible consequences of our actions and the effects they may have on others.

 

With resentment the tormenting thoughts tend to be aimed at or about other people; re-sent-ment - we're re-sending angry feelings. 'Why did he do that to me?' or 'How could she hurt me like that?' while regretful thoughts are aimed at our selves; 'I blew it! Idiot! I wish I could try again, I'll never get over it and I'll never forgive myself.' If these thoughts become clubs with which to thump ourselves or knives that we constantly stab ourselves with then both resentment and regret are equally damaging. They are a form of self abuse - and we can add guilt to that list as it's often inextricably woven with regret.

 

Some people seem able to say and do the most outrageous things and never think twice about it. If you're one of them you might wonder what I'm going on about. You may never have lost a moment's sleep about the things you say or do and how you say and do them but you would be in a minority - and if others are victims of that confronting and upsetting behaviour, when you eventually see the movie of your life you may be surprised at the havoc your unthinking words may have caused. It behoves us all to think twice. I can be a chatterbox but I like the insight that the reason we have two ears and only one mouth is because it is wise and may be to our benefit to listen twice as much as we talk.

 

That movie of our life is another reason for a daily review. If we are insightful enough to see our triumphs and mistakes and to lay them to rest on a daily basis, when we finally leave this mortal coil and go home to the world of spirit we won't have quite such a shock when we see that movie, more commonly known as the life review. We've all heard of how in moments of danger people say their life flashes before their eyes. That, as far as can be ascertained through those who have had near death experiences and those who experience spirit communication, is a truth. We will see, apparently mercifully quickly but in full, everything we've ever done for good or bad. We will feel the pain of what we inflicted upon others. This isn't said in order to frighten you but to explain that there does come a day when we become aware of the impact of all our actions.

 

Although we can't change our past we can change the future by what we do, think and say on a daily basis. I'm no saint and as I write this I'm all too aware of my own faults and failings. I do my best to take notice of these thoughts that come through me because I know they are as much for my own benefit as for any of you who identifies with what I'm saying today. Even though we can't change our past we can lay it to rest and that is the basis of the act of confession as practiced in the Catholic Church. Reviewing our day from a spiritual perspective is 'confessing our sins' - admitting our errors in order to clear our energy field and our soul of negative energy. The idea behind saying, 'Forgive me Father for I have sinned; I thought bad things about my brother, hit my sister and swore at my mother,' is to wash away any destructive psychic residue that remains from our 'sins' which are errors of judgement and negative actions and reactions.

 

At times dealing with what has happened in our lives may require more than an inner review. We may need to share our burdens - in church language, confess our sins, to others. We all know the saying that a trouble shared is a trouble halved although to a degree that will depend on what it is and who you share it with and we're all different in that regard. Some people rarely feel the need to talk over things that upset them; they deal with them privately and in their own way. I have to talk things through. To say, 'Oh, you'll never guess what happened today!' and have a sympathetic friend or my sister at the end of the phone is a blessing.

 

In the absence of a friend to take your troubles to, counselling is a modern form of the confessional. We also have the wonders of spiritual healing. The great thing about healing is that Spirit knows our issues without any words needing to be spoken; they can see what is in our hearts and on our conscience and do not judge us, but  however we choose to deal with our issues, from a soul perspective we are not meant to go over and over a situation endlessly. Process it as far as you can, to learn the lesson - because there always is a lesson involved - and then finally lay it to rest for your own sake and future wellbeing.

 

There often comes a point in my talks where I say, 'You may be wondering what has this to do with Spiritualism?' and I've reached that point in this one. This is a valid question. You may have been expecting to hear about the history or some aspect of mediumship and these things are interesting - but another of the gifts and services of the Spiritualist movement is healing. Healing is not just about the body but mind, spirit and soul and the philosophy of spiritualism is a way of living; it's not just attending a service on a Sunday afternoon but is a way of approaching life that ideally runs through everything we think, say and do. It is pretty much a philosophy of least harm to others and our selves. Issues of regret and other destructive emotions affect us on all levels and need healing as much as a broken arm or bronchitis.

 

Spiritualism has seven principles.  Dealing with our problems would come under the principles of personal responsibility and also the pathway of progress open to those who will to tread it. Eternal progress isn't just something you do when you're on the other side of the divide - this life has been designed to test us every day and to measure the progress we have made on a soul level through the experiences we have had. It isn't just about when we die but how we lived.

 

Regret and resentment are all about judgement - judging ourselves and judging others. Those who want to become clear channels for spirit, whether as healers or mediums, whether giving messages from loved ones as we will see demonstrated today or messages from guides and angels as I believe my talks are, need to be as clear as possible of judgement, to be detached and pretty much unshockable. Sensitives are sensitive and while that's a gift it is also the problem. We have to protect ourselves by becoming stronger morally, emotionally, mentally and physically too, and to strive to improve ourselves. One of the ways we do that is through healing ourselves of negative traits. The standard required by spirit is high.

 

In wondering why life seems so difficult at times and why I myself have been so fearful, there seems to be a twofold element. I believe in past lives. My understanding is that different aspects or facets of our higher soul incarnate to experience earth life for the purpose of gaining greater soul growth than can be gained in the world of spirit. Perhaps within that 90% of our brain the experts have yet to tap into or understand and which they say we don't use, is stored all those experiences past, present and future of those other aspects of our over-soul.

 

When we open ourselves up to the belief and understanding that existence is far more than this little life we currently live, then maybe we tap into aspects of those lives through dreams or meditation and sudden flashes of insight. It is my belief that the fear factor is of persecution - perhaps from those past life memories and experiences. Certainly, if you had told me when I was 40 that I'd ever stand up in front of a roomful of people and talk about these things I would probably have fainted on the spot! However, we all have a life path set out for us - some simpler than others. Somehow some of us have to push through the fear and walk a different kind of path.

 

The second part of finding aspects of life difficult and of experiencing fear and loss (and this seems to be true for many people and most mediums) is this - how could I talk of these things with any degree of authenticity and true empathy if I hadn't felt and experienced them myself? Why do my poems and the talks I give often touch people, sometimes bringing them to tears or smiles and occasionally making them angry? Perhaps it's because they touch parts within us all that need to be healed - and as we heal those parts in ourselves we will help to heal the world, because we are all connected.

 

Resentment and regret separate us, both from each other and from our good (God). How do we resolve or get rid of those feelings? Firstly, you have to want to. We have a tendency to hold on to our memories even when they hurt, because in some ways they define who we are. We have to reach the understanding that it's not the memories we need to release, it's the pain and other sad feelings attached to those memories.

 

When people tell you to move on while you are still consumed by the grief of losing a loved one, please understand that you don't have to stop thinking about them or talking about them. That would be too sad to contemplate; if you could stop thinking of them that wouldn't honour their existence. I think of my mum and dad almost every day and they're long gone. Letting go isn't about discarding their memory and releasing the warm thoughts; what is needed, for your own sake and quality of life and for the sake of your loved ones in spirit, because they know when you suffer, is to find a way to release the intensity of the pain of the loss. Then you will be able to enjoy good thoughts of them, remembering why you loved them and the gift they were to you, rather than being stuck in the heartache - the regret - of losing them.

 

On Easter Monday I had the song, 'One Day I'll Fly Away' in my mind and wrote the following. I share it with you as food for thought:

 

When the past taints the now, we want to escape it. When we have reached peace with the past we don't need to fly away and can live untainted by what has gone before. The singer sings of love as a painful thing but it's not love that is painful, it is relationships. It's not love that hurts but lack of love. Longing hurts; yearning hurts; wanting what we can't have hurts but love is a giving not a wanting and love is warm, not cold. Love is soft, not hard and love is strong, not weak… E-motion, as we have been told before, is energy in motion - love is energy and if we place our love energy where it is not met with in harmony, hurt results. When we see someone we love suffering, it's not the love that hurts - it's the feelings of emotion that are triggered by our compassion that hurts.

 

At Easter we need to try and understand the symbolic aspect of Jesus dying for our sins. Those who are filled with Christ-light, which is the energy of life's love force fully expressed, feel love for everything and everyone; it was that love which drove his mission. When we are touched by divine love, when our heart is open and connected to the Source, we have to follow our calling no matter the cost. This is what Jesus did and in feeling the pain of everyone he took that pain upon himself. Gurus can do that - they have the ability to take the illnesses of their followers and transmute them through grace. Also, and paradoxically, the reason Jesus was crucified was because of man's sin - all those feelings of anger, resentment, jealousy, bitterness, envy and so on are what put him there - whether you believe that was actually or symbolically.

 

Every day we symbolically crucify people by our unrealistic expectations of them, for example when we criticise and condemn through 'trial by media'. Sometimes it seems the media deliberately try to hound people to death - with the paparazzi there to take the photos; but this also happens in a less public way. Every time someone is called terrible names and otherwise abused and berated by the people who are supposed to love them, those people are killing them bit by bit, breaking their spirit. Every cruel jibe, every insult and every blow is an assault on their spirit and our own.

 

That first Easter, Jesus said, 'Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do,' and 2,000 years later we still make the same mistakes. That crown of thorns says more about the people who made it and placed it than about the person who wore it. Every time we do a cruelty to someone it rebounds upon us, because deep in our psyche is a part of us that knows we are doing wrong; every jibe that we give out lodges in our own self. That's something Jesus understood more than most - that even as the people tried to humiliate him, they humiliated themselves. We can't make someone feel humiliated, that is something beyond our capabilities. We may try to make them feel that way, but it is still a choice.

 

People were placed in the stocks in medieval times for public humiliation yet again it says more to me about the character or lack of it of those who dreamed up and carried out those punishments than of the individuals who were the victims of the punishment. I have never understood why people laugh when someone falls over - which is why I find most 'funniest videos' unfunny. If you knew that one day you would have to feel every painful thing you have inflicted upon others, whether that was physical or through thought energy, you might think twice; because that is what will happen. When we cross to the world of spirit we will see the extent of our misuse of life energy and feel what those we hurt felt. We need to be aware that even if not in this life, there is no 'getting away with' anything. The Universe puts things straight without our intervention.

 

Not all Spiritualists believe in Jesus as the incarnation of God on earth. Some think of him as a wise elder brother and some may not believe in him at all. One of the greatest attributes of this philosophy is that it honours our right to have a mind of our own; no-one has to profess a belief in anything that they don't believe in their heart. I do believe in the existence of Jesus as a great Master and guide because of inner experience and my guides use his teachings extensively to illustrate many aspects of our lives and how we can best live them.

 

I find it interesting that the same key phrases of Jesus' teachings come up again and again - perhaps these are the teachings that are the Christ essence expressing, or to use a modern term, channelling through Jesus the man. That Christ essence is within us all; it is the transformative power of universal love. Often people will reach that light of love through a 'dark night of the soul' which is a symbolic crucifixion. If you are presently going through dark days remember that, as symbolised by Easter as a spring festival, the sun (son) will always rise again and a new day always dawns…

 

 

©Jan Hunneybell, 5 April 2008

 

 HANDLE ME WITH CARE
Talk given at Lilydale & District Spiritual Church, Montrose

Some of us seem a little more fragile than others, a tad too sensitive. We may be easily hurt or easy to anger or take offence - but there is a difference between being sensitive and over-sensitive and there's a difference between handling with care and treading on eggshells. Some people are 'fragile' all the time, but if you have been feeling a little over-sensitive, more emotional and tearful than usual lately, be comforted that you're not alone. Many people are feeling that way. If you haven't, lucky you! I know I've felt it. We all have issues to contend with but I realised the feelings aren't just about me; there is wider energy at play.

 

Change is happening on a global scale. It is good change, so if you're feeling this, don't worry, you will get through it; you're not losing the plot. There is definitely 'something in the air' and guys, if you feel it too, remember that although you may have been told, 'Big boys don't cry', there are times when big boys may not cry but emotionally mature men do. It's good for your health.

 

On watching the TV coverage of 'Sorry Day' last month, I noticed there was a significant shift in people's behaviour, a willingness to be open to feeling emotion and expressing it from the heart and also for people to open their hearts and use their imaginations to travel in other people's shoes and empathise with their pain. It was lovely to see such openness and honesty. This is progress and heartening, regardless of the cynical view. Problems may continue but they'll be different ones - and in the meantime healing occurred for many people.

 

We saw how a heartfelt sorry can help to heal pain; it was a public manifestation of a shift in all humanity. We are all becoming more sensitive to the connections between us and becoming aware of how, when we hurt others, we hurt ourselves. At times we all need to be handled with care and to be able to express ourselves and our feelings in a more healthy way. This will benefit everyone.

 

I wonder how much 'bad behaviour' in children is misunderstood. How many children who are regarded as a problem, (being what used to be termed 'highly strung' but in current terms more liable to be labelled ADD or ADHD), are really distressed and suffering, particularly in our modern, over stimulating environments. They are bombarded all day long with all sorts of energy and imagery. We have electrical and radio signals all around us, the hum of the fridge, the phone, the computer and the TV.

 

Shopping centres are awful places for sensitive children. People seem unaware of the noise in shopping centres. There is a barrage of sound, a mix of electrical noise, music and a multitude of voices creating at best a sort of constant, low level hum but on days when I'm feeling sensitive it sounds more like a roar. Children's hearing and other senses are more acute than adults and I believe that it's this noise and the energy of these centres that is at least partly responsible for small children becoming fractious and distressed. They can't explain what's wrong so they cry or scream and then get shouted at and called naughty…

 

Our children need handling with care. They need kindness and firmness; they also need those who care for them to try their best to view the world through a child's eyes (and ears) - then those adults will hopefully see the wonder but also better understand the problems and fears of being a small person in a big person's world. Children are so impressionable and tend to pick up the things we'd prefer them not to learn far more easily than those things we want them to learn. They also often feel that they are to blame when things go wrong, like their parents arguing or splitting up or getting ill. These are burdens that children bring into adulthood.

 

The chances are that most if not all of you have some issues from childhood. This is because most of our wounds and sensitivities have their origins back there. It's also my belief that many of those problems stem back to past lives. We may not remember our past lives, not many people do, but it is as if the wounds from some of them are so deep that the memory has leaked into this current existence, affecting our attitudes and reactions to life and the challenges it brings. Our whole approach to life may be coloured by those unconscious stirrings of memory and imagination.

 

A powerful imagination can fill us with fears. It could equally fill us with delight if we harnessed it appropriately. There is an overlapping area between memory and imagination which adds to the richness and diversity of human experience but also makes it difficult at times to trust the veracity of our thoughts and where they spring from. Because of this, a great deal of the work of being a channel for spirit is in clearing and healing our issues and practicing discernment. The more we heal or come to terms with our issues, the clearer the thoughts, sounds, feelings and images that arise into consciousness will be and the easier they will be to interpret. It takes a lot of courage and trust to be a spiritual medium; it should also include a great deal of self analysis and the realisation that although it's a marvellous gift, mediumship is only part of the journey, not the destination.

 

While few people are destined to be 'evidence of survival mediums', everyone is an instrument of spirit and the quality of spirit that manifests through us will depend on how we tune our instrument, which is a three fold entity of mind, body and spirit. The trinity through which God (or Good) is made manifest through each of us is achieved through the balanced and positive development and attention to all three elements. Many people focus on one or two of these elements - for example, some sportspeople may focus on the body without giving due attention to mind or spirit. Theologians may focus on spirit without giving care or actively neglecting and inflicting cruelty to their body; whilst some academics may be so absorbed in brainwork that they neglect both body and spirit. However, we are triune beings and these three distinct aspects to our lives all need to be addressed and given balance.

 

For me physical activity has always been neglected, mostly through fear of discomfort, injury and pain. When I was a kid, if a ball lobbed in my direction, instead of catching it I would duck out of the way, incurring the fury of others for not making an easy catch! I have been fortunate in this lifetime. I haven't suffered serious physical ailments or any physical abuse, yet even as a small child I seemed to know what it was to experience violence. Where would that come from except past lifetimes? Whatever the source of that feeling, something deep within me has always understood what it is to suffer. It seems like my soul said, 'You've had enough of that before, you don't need it this time.' Thank heavens for that! But the fear of it, the far distant memory of abuse and persecution has often seemed to hold me, and probably countless other people too, back from being in the fullness of what I could be. I'm still working on courage...

 

Avoidance of physical activity seemed to be avoidance of pain but I gradually realised in recent years that there is a price to pay for not being physically active. The body seizes up and pain and suffering become a consequence of inactivity. In recent years I started getting stiff and achy for the first time in my life when getting out of bed and after sitting still for a short while and alarm bells started ringing. I'm now getting out there and getting active. To my great surprise, I'm enjoying it. I struggle up the hills, gasp for breath and think, 'Never again!', but those little endorphins start to bounce with glee and press my happy buttons.

 

I'm a convert. I still have to force myself out of the door but I love my walks and enjoy my workouts - but I will never like team games! Once I realised there was a difference between sport and exercise I could finally put school sport behind me, which put me off physical activity for so many years. Oh yes, our childhood wounds run deep! We may spend a lifetime avoiding what caused us distress in the past. The parts of us that are injured in childhood become 'stunted growth' and these wounded aspects of ourselves don't grow and mature along with the rest of ourself.

 

It's like we are a tree with many branches. The branches that have been damaged don't grow as well as the rest of the tree. The tree continues to grow and the healthy branches grow with it but those that were cut, broken or otherwise damaged don't grow in harmony with the rest of the tree. As human beings, if we can retrieve the memories that caused us to be emotionally damaged and then reframe them or come to a different understanding of what caused the original damage, we can restore our lost parts. In the language of the mystic this is 'soul retrieval' or 'reclaiming our spirit'. Either alone or with the help of healing or counselling, these practices can restore us to wholeness.

 

We are told of the importance of living in the moment, being here now and fully concentrating on this point in time. This has been reiterated over and again in my own inspired writings. The guides and angels want us to be still, not focussed on past or future - because when we are fully present they can connect with us and help to influence our lives in positive ways. When we are stuck in the past we are influenced by the ghosts of our memories and when we are focussed on the future we are influenced by the spectres of our projections. These are creations and vampires of our energy.

 

While we are past and future tripping we miss out on now because our minds are filled with thoughts; energy creations that bring all kinds of emotional reactions that take energy away from this moment, leaving less personal energy with which to manifest the positive energies of guidance. Guidance is there; we all have spiritual help available to us but we can't access it if we have all this other stuff in our minds - the resentment, regret or wistful longings of the past or the anticipation, dread or ambition for the future. These are feelings that use large amounts of energy. Add to that all the worrying we indulge in on behalf of our family, friends, money, work and so forth and it's amazing that any guidance can find its way through the fog of feelings, emotions and thoughts that clutter our brains. It's exhausting just thinking of it…

 

Those of you who've listened to my talks over the years may be thinking 'Well, you often talk of the past, Jan,' and this is true but it's not because I'm stuck there but because my guides have found a way to use my past as material to illustrate my talks. My memories are not particularly special and sometimes I'd rather not share those I'm not so proud of, but the guides have other ideas! Maybe it's their ordinariness that matters most, because that's why people relate to them. If we talk of forgiveness, detachment or stillness, they are only abstract concepts until they are illustrated with examples. Unless you connect the ideas with real life situations it may be hard to relate them to your own lives but when I share an incident you may get a 'me too!' feeling, which could help you heal or understand a situation or issue of your own. If not, even if you just walk away thinking, 'I never thought of it like that before!' it could be useful to you.

 

When you live in the moment and connect with your guidance through meditation, contemplation or receiving healing, old memories will still come up from time to time but they will arise for a purpose. Instead of having a head filled with old memories, hurts, lost loves and so on, when we start to focus on living in the present moment we become more available for the guides to deliberately bring memories to the surface, not to torment or hurt us but to deal with them. If you've reached a stage where you are more focussed on your daily life and yet some old memory keeps entering your thoughts, this can be where things get a little confused and you may keep pushing the memory away because you're practicing living in the now.

 

We are told by some meditation teachers to let the thoughts that arise in our minds glide by and ignore them. This may often be the right thing to do, but what can happen is that in your stillness, in that better frame of mind, your guides and angels or your higher selves are working with you, handling you with care, deliberately bringing key memories into your consciousness for you to view from a new and expanded perspective. This is to heal and clear not the memory but the pain of the memory from your consciousness.

 

Memories don't debilitate you or cause illness - it's the powerful emotions attached to the memory that drain you and affect the quality of your current life on a subtle level. If you can review the scene as a detached onlooker, seeing the situation through other eyes, you get a clearer view of what went on and how it was for the other people involved. I mentioned earlier how children see things as being their fault and perhaps this can damage their perception of their own self which is carried into adulthood. If you're working on healing yourself and a painful memory crops up, we can use our imagination to ask ourselves what was going on for the other person and why did they do that?

 

I have issues with my memory, losing words in the middle of a sentence or losing the thread of conversations, forgetting names and so on. I know it's a common problem, but I panic. It's why I prefer to do written talks. A week or so back I asked, 'Why do I have problems with my memory?' Immediately a scene from primary school flashed into my mind. I should have written the name of the book I was using for library lessons in my exercise book - but I didn't. I trusted to memory. One lesson the book wasn't in its usual spot and I couldn't remember the title. When I told the teacher, she went crazy, screaming into my face, poking and prodding me and calling me stupid, idiotic and other things lost in the mists of time. I was terrified and humiliated. The smirk on the face of the boy nearest me and his seeming delight at my plight hurt as much as the teachers attack.

 

In having this brought into my conscious mind I realised that this incident may have affected my trust in my self. I needed to acknowledge that at the time I did the wrong thing. I didn't obey the instructions. Even so, the teacher's reaction was excessive. I don't know why I didn't write the name of the book down but as an adult I can see that the reason she attacked me may have had very little to do with me or my transgression and more to do with what was happening in her own life at the time - and maybe the boy who seemed to enjoy my discomfort so much was just thanking his lucky stars that it was me and not him in trouble. He may have grinned as happily whoever was getting in trouble. As a nine year old I took it personally. Although the memory was buried, the effect was long lasting.

 

I'm sure you all have stories far more traumatic than mine, but it doesn't matter how they compare to someone else's experience; what matters is how they impacted on our life. What did we tell ourself? How did it change our attitude and reaction to life and our interaction with the world? We may never have connected our behaviour with a past incident, but this is where being as present as possible can help, because when it is appropriate our guides, higher self or super-conscious, whatever you choose to call it, can bring into awareness a past hurt that needs to be healed or seen from a different perspective. That teacher may have rowed with her husband that morning. Maybe her mortgage application got turned down or her dog died - and then this pesky kid couldn't even follow simple instructions…

 

How can all this help me - or more importantly in the context of this talk, you? Will it give my trust in my memory back? Will it allow me to stand on a platform without my pages in front of me? At this stage I'd say no - but maybe when I lose words or forget what I was saying I won't feel quite as panic stricken as I have in the past. The incident, in being brought to the surface and seen from a detached perspective has been defused of its power because the perception of a child has been replaced by an adult ability to reframe what seemed to me, a shy, well behaved, timid child, to be a huge trauma. 45 years later I see that it was really a small but clearly significant event. I have taken responsibility for my role in the incident and placed the rest where it belongs.

 

Unconscious memory having been brought to light, the memory remains but doesn't hurt any more. It's a thought rather than a feeling. I have one less memory to distort my thinking and more importantly, one less reason to mistrust myself. I hope you remember what I've spoken of today the next time a painful old memory arises for you. Don't push it away but stay with it, looking at it with different eyes. Try to understand what was going on for all concerned and see the whole thing in a better way. If you are able to do this and it helps to heal a hurt or solve a issue that may have held you back in your life, then sharing my experience will be worthwhile.

 

The song Handle Me with Care says, everybody needs somebody to lean on. The significance of allowing old memories to come to the surface and be cleared is that the person we can lean on, the person we can trust the most, needs to be ourself. We need to know we can have faith in our own self to do the right thing, to not let us down. We all have an inner saboteur that can keep us from shining to our fullest degree. This saboteur doesn't mean to spoil our lives; it is just doing what it can to keep us safe and invents all kinds of excuses why we can't do things. It uses procrastination to make sure we miss our opportunities and it keeps us safely at home on the couch watching TV.

 

I wrote a line from the guides once that said, 'Life be in it, don't just watch it on TV'. How many hours do we spend doing just that, living life through the box, experiencing life second hand? We say it's for relaxation but we also say we don't have time to go places and do the things that we profess we'd love to do - and then we lose respect for our own selves. When we can trust and respect ourselves we become stronger and become the very person we would choose to lean on - someone living in integrity and authenticity who doesn't have buried issues unconsciously directing our lives. We become stronger and less sensitive to the thoughts and judgements of others.

 

How wonderful to courageously be our own person, not allowing ourselves to be held back by fear. All that I've been talking about has relevance to everyone's life. Self care, the balance of mind, body and spirit, the healing of what prevents us from being in the fullness of our own true spirit are all ways in which we reach for our highest potential.

 

In healing ourselves we heal others and the earth itself. That is what is meant by 'God helps those who help themselves'. It's not an invitation to selfishness but to self realisation and the lifting of the human race to its highest form of expression. As we evolve, we take others with us. May you be blessed.

 

©Jan Hunneybell, 9 March 2008

 

 

WEATHER WITH YOU

Talk given at The Phoenix Spiritual Centre

 

I recently woke hearing the lyrics, everywhere you go you always take the weather with you. It was the first of a sequence of five songs that came to mind as I lay there. I then got Let's All Sing to the Death of a Clown, We've Only Just Begun; You'll Never Walk Alone, and finally, I'm on the Top of the World. Each song was accompanied by various thoughts in a definite sequence and I realised that my guides (or higher inspiration) were using these songs to describe the journey from unconsciousness to consciousness - spiritual awakening and new beginnings. As this is our first Sunday back, in the first month of not just a new year but a 'one year', it seems particularly appropriate.

 

For those who don't know numerology I'll just explain that this is a one year because it's 2008 and 2 + 0 + 0 + 8 equals 10 which reduces to a one (1 + 0). In numerology we have 9 year cycles. As 2007 was a 9 year, many people would have experienced endings through death, loss or change - moving house, changing jobs, children moving on and so forth. Some endings may have been positive and others painful, while some may have been subtle, such as letting go of certain ways of thinking, kicking old habits or releasing ambitions.

 

While we may be reeling from the effect of all these endings let's hold on to the fact that as we are now in a one year, the new beginnings arising from those endings will start to manifest. Many people resist change but it needs to be accepted even if we don't like it. The challenge is to embrace what is and work with it instead of living with regret and what might have been.

 

Everywhere you go you always take the weather with you. How often we describe our moods according to the weather. We have a sunny nature or a stormy temper, we might feel under a cloud or it may rain on our parade. We get caught up in emotions and it all seems so real yet our emotions are like weather - illusory energy that clouds the truth of the shining being within each of us. Weather is just energy and so it is with emotions. They are patterns of energy created by our attitudes, both learned and inborn, which affect our response to what happens to us.

 

While we may not be able to change our preference for certain kinds of weather or immediately change our instinctive response to them, we can change the intensity of our feelings by realising that weather of itself isn't good or bad - it only becomes good or bad according to prevailing conditions. If we live in houses in flood prone areas, it's not the fault of the weather; it's the fault of planners and builders - and it's our choice to live there. If we build and live in homes in bush fire risk areas, as I do, it's a risk we take in order to live somewhere beautiful, knowing the weather may spark a catastrophe but hoping it doesn't.

 

Weather is just weather. We can resist it, which is useless as the sun will continue to shine regardless of our resistance and the rain will continue to fall, or we can accept it and do what we can to weatherproof ourselves, providing optimum conditions for comfort, come storm or shine. It's the same with inner weather. Once we accept that we take our emotional weather with us wherever we go, we can do our best to accept that certain feelings will, from time to time, cloud our perceptions.

 

People who live unconsciously will say, 'I can't help it; it's just the way I am. I was born this way.' I know, because that's what I used to say. I didn't know I had a choice about what upset me or how much it upset me. It was a great moment when I read - I believe it may have been in 'The Feeling Good Book' by Dr David Burns - that between something occurring and our reaction to it there is a gap, a brief space in time when we can choose how to respond. That's one of the best things I ever learned. It seems so simple and logical now - but it was a revelation back then.

 

We can make a conscious decision to be self aware, which may be achieved through what the Buddhists call 'mindfulness', noticing what we say and do at every moment. In noting our reactions to events, circumstances and even weather, we can be the watcher of our own 'nature' with its own weather patterns. Gradually learning to mentally stand back, we can see the patterns emerging and understand that just because we have a particular response to certain emotional turbulence it doesn't make any of it real. It's just weather, clouding things! To 'weather the weather' requires the detachment to be able to stand back and decide, 'No, this isn't a disaster, it's not the end of the world. It's just weather!'

 

As I was writing I realised that an anagram of weather is 'We earth' - we are of the earth and by grounding ourselves in reality and accepting that 'weather happens' we can choose to react and be swept up in the current or we can accept and let it blow around us. Within each of us, untouched by any of the weather, is our shining centre - just as, behind the clouds, the rain and the mayhem of wind and storm, the sun still shines upon us, above all the activity of energy that we think of as real.

 

The illusion is not just about the weather of our emotions. It includes all the activities and 'stuff' that man has created and the meaning he assigns to those activities and things. We all get caught up in having to do things a certain way, having to behave in a particular fashion and having aspirations driven by cultural and social programming rather than by our heart and instinct. Our biggest illusion is money - but it's all just 'weather', so much cloud and mist. Money is a social creation that has most people trapped into thinking it's the most important thing of all. God gave us life but mankind made society and rules that sometimes protect us but so often bind and prevent us from being our true selves - and money drives most of what we have created.

 

How we unconsciously deal with our various 'weather patterns' is to create coping strategies and various personas or masks to wear for the different circumstances in which we find ourselves. However, once we awaken to the fact that weather is just weather, we can decide to release the various masks that we wear and just be our shining centre - our authentic self - and that self does not have to do anything or act in a certain way or conform to anyone else's expectations. That isn't to say that we can behave badly and do anything we choose; far from it. It's about seeing where we do things to curry favour, to win love or approval or manipulate others to get what we want - and then to stop doing it.

 

The second song was Death of a Clown. Clowns wear makeup so that we cannot really tell who the person is behind the greasepaint and the baggy clothes. As already said, to an extent we all hide behind masks. Our faces may be recognised but do they reflect our true self or just an actor assuming a role? My interpretation of the message, let's all sing to the death of a clown is that there comes a time in life when you can decide to be genuine and happy in your own skin, being your true self, or you can continue to act a role and wear a mask for every occasion. If you decide to be authentically you it is cause for celebration.

 

Many people wear masks through fear, thinking, 'If you really knew me, you wouldn't like me.' They even hide from themselves because of this belief. They dislike being alone because they have to be with their own self and that's the last person they want to be with. If they are alone they put on the TV or radio or distract themselves with activity to prevent being with their own thoughts and feelings. This is sad because if they did spend time with their own self they might discover that they really like this person who is, after all, their constant companion and who could do with some attention. These negative ways of being hinder us on our journey in life, the purpose of which is to reach our full potential not as a career move but just in being who we really are. To be the best person you can be will generally involve following your heart rather than your head.

 

Our potential as a fully integrated human being is reached not by what we take in but by what we release, such as excessive need for approval, fear of failure or the thought that we need a particular person in our lives in order to survive - and a whole lot of other attitudes we have taken on as our own. We may be unaware of some of these right now but they will come to our notice over time when we walk the conscious pathway.

 

As we heal ourselves by releasing what we no longer need, we can begin thinking in terms of preferences rather than absolutes. I may prefer someone to want to be with me, spend time with me or love me but if they don't, even if they are my husband, child or other significant relationship, I can still enjoy life and continue to function, albeit somewhat saddened. I will not feel as demolished or diminished as I might do if it was my belief that life would be intolerable if that one person doesn't love or need me as I believe I feel for them or if I don't get what I think I need.

 

When you are in touch with the inner sun that resides within each of us and continues to shine regardless of the surrounding weather, you become your own best friend and strengthen your abilities to weather the storms. You are enough. You enjoy your own company, honour your own worth and even as you may hurt when events happen and betrayals or losses occur there is still a core of warmth and peace within. Therefore you are also able to forgive more easily and let go of the hurts and slights that can so easily destroy you. In allowing the clown to die, the false self that prevents you from being your true self, you are free.

 

You can realise that whether you are devastated by a situation or merely philosophical about it is truly a choice you can make and not something ordained in the stars. When you unconsciously react to situations you may say, 'I can't help feeling upset,' and that is surely true, but you can decide how much you will let those events impact upon your life and its quality; will you let them stop you enjoying what is still there to be enjoyed? Even the biggest losses in life are soothed if we can still smile at the birdsong and the sun rising in the sky. Our heart may hurt but there is still some capacity for joy.

 

We grieve, but the length and depth of that grief can still be determined by our ability to remain responsive to the world and to people outside of ourselves. The length or the pain of our suffering does not show the measure of our loyalty to what or who we have lost. Because we grieve for our partner ten years down the track doesn't prove or disprove that we loved them any more or less than our neighbour who grieved deeply for six months and then resumed everyday living without too much difficulty. We can't see inside peoples hearts and may tend to judge by appearance which brings to mind the saying about not judging a book by its cover.

 

Those who grieve excessively may have deeper issues of guilt and anger to deal with. The masks we wear often only deceive ourselves. There are those who 'put on a show' because they think it's the right thing to do. They aren't being deliberately hypocritical; they may want to believe that what they are portraying is true. So much behaviour is driven by what we believe other people expect of us.

 

I remember my mother-in-law being worried at my father-in-laws funeral because she thought people expected her to cry. She didn't feel like crying but felt that if she didn't, friends and family would believe she didn't care. Some people may think that way but others would believe how brave and dignified it is to keep a stiff upper lip and hold oneself together, so this is what I told her.

 

These situations are all about judgement. We see through different lenses according to our attitudes, upbringing and culture. Middle Eastern people can wail or scream and it's considered normal. It may well be more healthy way than bottling up our feelings. In western society someone carrying on that way would be judged self indulgent or demented and given a sedative. Sobbing means nothing other than that is how we may deal with our grief. It can be genuine, a healthy release or a sham. Some people can't cry even if they want to while others cry easily or at will. You can't measure sorrow by tears or their lack. It's important to grieve in the way that is genuine to our self without having to put on an act for someone else.

 

Having removed the masks and allowed ourselves to be ourselves, responding to life genuinely from the heart, we move to the next song, 'We've Only Just Begun'. By releasing the illusion we can then reside in love and let the genuine energy of universal love run through us. In accepting that all weather is merely energy and therefore cannot be resisted, we allow everything to be what it needs to be and everyone to be who they need to be, even if we don't particularly like it or think it wise.

 

We've Only Just Begun is about marriage, white lace and promises, but the divine marriage is union with the self. Dying to the unconscious self and awakening to a more conscious life can be seen as a union of our everyday self with our higher self. It is a rebirth. The life and love energy that we connect with is in esoteric terms the SUN and the SON. This energy we connect with on this healing journey is known as the Christ energy. It's not only born again Christians who have this energy; it is a natural progression in the life of anyone on a spiritual path. It is the energy that flows from the Universe to us and through us when we have opened our hearts up to receive.

 

We may have had what some describe as an awakening, often triggered by having been brought to our knees by some event, inner or outer, that has shaken us to the core. I guess some hearts may open gently and peacefully but for many, probably most of us, they have to be cracked open by seemingly unbearable heartache - yet we do bear it. If we don't make the mistake of choosing a path of bitterness and recrimination, this opening of the heart eventually makes us stronger and more compassionate.

 

A sign that we have accessed true universal love is that we never want others to suffer as we have suffered. Before we open to what true love really is, when we suffer we may want others to suffer, too. That's the basis of much of what is wrong in the world. People think, 'Why me?' and somehow think that in others suffering, they will suffer less. Some satisfaction seems to be gained by others hurting too, but we can never find lasting peace by causing, wishing or taking pleasure in the suffering of others. Even if our ego self gets perverse satisfaction in upsetting others, our soul self knows that we will never reach happiness via another persons misery.

 

There is a saying that misery likes company. We have to look after ourselves. No matter how loyal we are we sometimes have to remove ourselves from people who we love but who bring us down. Don't feel guilty about doing this. It's our intentions that matter. Mentally wrap them in love and light and ask for their healing and keep your distance if you need to and if you can. In this new phase of life we don't have to be party to the manipulations of others unless we choose to. At this point we become aware of when we are being manipulated.

 

In awakening we start to recognise our own behaviours and that of others, but we need to always react with compassion as manipulation is mostly an unconscious behaviour that we all indulge in from time to time, trying to get others to do what we want. The reason people do it is to have a sense of power and control - but true power can't be forced. The power of love freely flowing through us, not conditional upon any particular reason, is true power.

 

The power we feel from being at one with ourselves and united with our own higher power releases us from the need or desire to have power or control over anyone else. When this happens, it's no longer a need to influence or tell someone else what they should do unless they ask for your advice. Sometimes just holding the energy of love with and for that person without saying anything much may be more beneficial. When you can see why they are attracting the pain, but realise that whatever you say they will still behave in the ways that cause the pain - and will not listen - then to send peace and love silently, not taking on their negativity, is the most healing thing you can do for them and for yourself.

 

When you feel at one with your higher, more spiritual aspect yet still are in touch with earth and the reality of everyday living, you learn the art of detachment, which is really the art of acceptance. It helps you to be an effective human being without getting sucked into the dramas that others create. In being whole, which is the idea of unity - two halves making a whole - we have no need to take on the emotional garbage or pain of others. If we are content and able to stand back and see the currents and under-currents, understanding it's all just weather, we can be helpful, supportive friends, parents, partners, colleagues and neighbours without getting attached to the situations.

 

Detachment isn't being uncaring - it's remaining free of the bonds of emotional suffering whilst still being loving, effective and supportive, doing what we can to help but recognising when we are wasting our energy. In Biblical terms we are learning when we are 'casting our pearls before swine' and the effort we are putting in to certain situations and people is wasted energy. We may be more effective by choosing somewhere else to place our focus and energy.

 

At this stage we can sit comfortably in the eye of the storm, where peace, love and stillness can be ours even as the weather lashes around us and know, as in my next song, You'll Never Walk Alone. In uniting with our higher self we become more available and accessible to inner guidance. This too will vary according to our inner and outer weather. Sometimes it will be clear and other times we may think that our guides have gone on vacation - but once that connection is made our life takes a new pathway where we don't just believe but truly know that our life and all life is guided by a higher power. The only thing that stops us from resting entirely in that safe space is our own free will and the illusions of earth life that constantly pull us away from our still centre.

 

We have to make a conscious effort to keep the higher view in mind. We don't become saints but we do become aware - and our conscience becomes louder in our ear. We may still enjoy that juicy piece of information but we also start looking at such things in a different way. We may decide to send healing to the situation instead of revelling in the scandalous nature of the story.  When we hear about Britney or Paris, instead of thinking 'silly moo!' we realise that destructive or attention seeking behaviour is generally a symptom of deep pain, despair or other negative situation - and send out a thought for them to receive the help they need.

 

You'll never walk alone is another song using weather as a metaphor for life's difficulties. Those difficulties are never quite as painful once you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that some greater power has only your best interests in mind. We have to do the work yet the awareness we have when our conscience is working properly is the guiding force in making the right choices. Occasionally I know I shouldn't say something but I say it anyway; I may criticise or bring up old issues that are best forgotten. We all do it in the heat of the moment but the choice is there and we have to take responsibility for it. Wisdom is when we heed the choice and zip the lip. The momentary satisfaction of scoring a point is rarely worth the ill will the comment causes.

 

This stage of learning, of examining our attitudes and intentions, of letting people be who they are and not what we want them to be, of accepting where we are, releasing our regrets and forgiving our own and others errors and being at peace in even the most trying circumstances is a lifelong spiritual practice. If you treat yourself gently and kindly, forgiving yourself when you fail, remembering we all have our stumbling blocks, then life rewards us with the kind of riches that we needn't worry about investing.

 

The richness of a peaceful heart and a clear conscience is far more valuable than money in the bank. We need to have money in this world, of course, but we probably need far less than we think we need. If we choose to focus on what we have and the many blessings that surround us, to express gratitude and to wish the best and send blessings to others, our needs will be met.

 

The final song in my sequence was The Top of the World, another song using descriptions of weather and nature. It's the arrival at the peak of our journey, feeling on top of the world, knowing that everything is perfect as it is and that you are perfect as you are. The journey started with unconscious weather patterns, then dying to the old ways, habits and pretences, awakening to consciousness, understanding that you are not alone on this journey and the triumph of knowing that you are all you need. Also that happiness is an inner thing, a choice that is not dependent upon other people or owning your own house, car or having the perfect partner. We can choose to be happy in this moment, right now - as you sit there, even if it should only last a few seconds, you can decide to feel happy and feel love in your heart; not love for someone or something, just love, free flowing, not attached to anything or anyone - and in that choice and in that moment, we are free.

 

Every time we slip back into misery or 'poor me', victim thinking, we can stop and say, 'I'll be miserable later. Right now I'll sit still, breathe slowly, think of love and feel it in my heart. It doesn't matter if it's raining, hailing or snowing outside, at this moment I choose peace, light and love.'

 

It takes a long time to break a habit and a lot of hard work, but always tell your self that happiness is a conscious decision. It is your birthright. The best spiritual development in the world is the cultivation of inner peace and happiness. I hope you all find it, for that is the treasure, that is the holy grail and it's something you can take with you when you leave this world - but you will also leave it behind as a lasting legacy that will mean more to those who knew and loved you than any material possessions that you may bequeath.

 

Give freely of your positive energy, walk the pathway of joy and love and this will truly be a Happy New Year for us all.

 

©Jan Hunneybell, Jan 2008